When talking about disabilities and sex, often sex workers are mentioned. Most people want a meaningful experience – without paying for the act.
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I’ve been really hurt in the past and my disability has been a factor. I’m dating now, but I’m so scared it’ll happen again.
One of the questions we are asked the most at Enhance the UK is ‘How do I refer to a disabled person without offending them?’ In today’s society, many of us are terrified of offending or patronising others, and rightly so! But, there’s nothing worse than letting your communication fear get in the way of talking to disabled people so much that you end up not conversing at all! So, here are our top tips for using the correct terminology when communicating with disabled people:
- Ask them first.
It’s unlikely that you will ever need to know about someone’s impairment or condition, unless you are a medical professional, work in a school or are reporting an incident. But if you do need to know the specifics for any reason, don’t guess! Politely and calmly ask the disabled person in question how to best describe their impairment. That way, you’ve put them in control of the situation without assuming or shying away from the issue at hand.
- Idioms are OK
People also get hung up on using everyday sayings around disabled people. Saying ‘see you later’ to a blind person or ‘walk this way’ to a wheelchair user is absolutely fine! In fact, the worst thing you can possibly do is stumble over your words, feel embarrassed and end up not chatting at all!
- It’s all about the intention
We all slip up sometimes and say the wrong thing, and let’s be honest, disabled people are used to non-disabled people feeling a little awkward around them (unfortunately). But, if your motives come from a good place, then that’s half the battle.
For more information, get in touch with us by visiting www.enhancetheuk.org or tweeting us @enhancetheuk
Photo provided by http://mayallbehappy.org
As a disabled person who is not particularly athletic, the phrase ‘disability sport’ often fills me with a little dread. I am never going to be as incredibly sporty and successful as Hannah Cockroft, the gold-winning wheelchair racer, or swimming’s sweetheart Ellie Simmonds. I used to play wheelchair basketball, and absolutely adored the social side of the sport as well as the opportunity to improve my health and fitness, and realise my truly competitive side! But, there came a time where training did not fit into my working schedule, especially with my travelling commitments as a writer for Lonely Planet. So, I gave it up, watched local tournaments and huge events like the Paralympics completely in awe, but from afar, and decided that maybe disability sport just was not for me…
…How wrong that perception of mine turned out to be! There are so many ways those with disabilities can continue to be conscious of their health, work on self-improvement and have fun along the way without quite the same time and effort it takes to be part of a winning, competitive sporting side. Here are just a few of those ways:
Wheelchair Yoga
Like with most exercise, the benefits of wheelchair yoga really are surprising. As you probably expected, your flexibility is likely to improve and you may well become stronger pretty quickly, but also expect benefits of a better sleep, less stress and anxiety in your everyday life, and a clearer mental connection with what is going on around you. Who wouldn’t want any of these things in our fast and busy lives?
Top Three Wheelchair Yoga Poses
These excellent wheelchair yoga poses will hopefully have you feeling connected and strengthened in no time, each one working a different part of your body. Thanks to www.mayallbehappy.org for their wisdom.
Cat Pose
- Grip your chair or place your hands on your thighs
- Exhale as you round your upper body forward, dropping your chin toward your chest, arching your spine like a cat
- Hold in this position for a few deep breathsCow Pose (front of body-opener)
Eagle Pose
- Inhale and lift your arms
- Exhale and cross your arms at the elbows so your hands are back-to-back
- Hold in this position as you continue to breathe for 20-30 seconds
Hip Stretch
- Inhale, lift one leg and cross it over the other
- If you want a deeper stretch and you have good trunk stability, exhale and lean forward from your hips
- Continue to breathe as you hold the stretch for 3-5 breaths
- Gently release your leg and move to stretch the other side
Wheelchair Dancing
For some reason, the thought of dancing in my wheelchair is also something that has made me feel pretty nervous and un-coordinated in the past! But most of us like to get our groove on, right?!
Wheelchair Dancing (especially ballroom dancing) may be right up your street if you have a partner who is either non-disabled or also a wheelchair user. For those of us with disabilities, it can often prove pretty tricky to get active with our partners and find something that we can both do, are good at and will enjoy. Wheelchair dancing can be taken at the couple’s one pace, and there is equal elegance from both sides! It is an opportunity to get physically close, whilst having a giggle and meeting other people in the same, or similar, situations. A good middle ground between an individual and a group sport, and a chilled or exhausting activity, wheelchair dancing might just be the sport for you.
Follow us on Instagram @UndressingDisability and twitter @ETUKUndressing. Or buy our Undressing Disability ebook for £5.99
I’m keen to start looking for some fun online, but will people laugh at me when they find I’m disabled? Click to read more…