Hi Love Lounge!
I’ve been really hurt in the past and my disability has often been a factor when relationships have ended. I’m now in a new relationship but am so scared it will happen again. I know there isn’t a definite solution to this, but do you have any advice for me?
This is such a tough one to answer because, you’re right (unfortunately), there’s no miracle response that will suddenly make you feel better about this. It’s truly rubbish that you’ve been through heartache, and when it involves something you absolutely can’t control or change, it’s even worse. My advice? Be honest with your new partner about your past relationships and tell them your concerns for this new one. We get too easily hung up about not talking about exes, but I think it’s an important part of ensuring your new relationship isn’t like your last, and making it clear what you’re looking for and what you want to leave behind. Secondly, remember you are so much more than your impairment and focus on how much you bring to a relationship. This is the stuff that should be appreciated and celebrated! If you’re really down in the dumps, talking to a professional might help. You need to make sure that another person’s words don’t get in the way of your shot at happiness. Easier said than done, but absolutely possible with the right support and mindset.
Wishing you the best of luck,