Hi Love Lounge! I’ve been really hurt in the past and my disability has often been a factor when relationships have ended. I’m now in a new relationship but am so scared it will happen again. I know there isn’t a definite solution to this, but do you have any…
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If you feel alone and need to talk to someone, get a bit of down to earth advice or need some practical tips on sex, relationships and flirting, please come and talk to our resident love non expert experts!
Everybody wants to feel that they ‘belong’ and finding a sense of belonging with another person is very important to so many of us. Yet finding a ‘soul mate,’ for many people, is not so simple especially when you have a disability.
Sex and Disability
Even if you’re in an established relationship, all sorts of tensions and difficulties can crop up. It’s especially hard if one of you becomes chronically sick, disabled or has an impairment which changes.
It can then become not only something you both need to get your head round, but could mean your partner now has to assist you in different ways and offer you ‘care’ in a way they haven’t done before.
The dynamic of your relationship could change, sex might become physically or emotionally difficult, or you may end up feeling like you’re living with your best friend and sex is off the menu all together.
Maybe you’re single and want to date, have fun, find the person of your dreams or even play the field a bit but are scared of ending up feeling like a novelty shag. Where do you look? How do you look? When do you mention an impairment or disability?
Living in a care home and maintaining or even establishing a relationship is no easy feat. Lack of information, attitudes, privacy and access are massive barriers. After all, how many double beds have you ever seen in a care home?
Get all the advice you need from our love gurus
Mik is a big personality in the media world, representing disability in his own unique way. He has presented shows on BBC2, Channel 4, ITV, Total Rock Radio and BBC 3 Counties Radio.Read Mik's advice
Emily is an accessibile travel writer and accessibility consultant, she has cerebral palsy, uses a wheelchair, and has had relationships with both able-bodied and disabled partners.Read Emily's advice
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Hello, First of all forgive me for my poor English. My name is Gokhan and I’m 31 years old. I’m living in Turkey. As you can imagine the life for disabled people is not easy here. And of course the sexual activities we have no chance to do anything and We have…
Dear Love Lounge, I am a sex writer and really want to include disabled characters in my writing – but I feel unqualified to do this as I’m not disabled myself! Do you have any advice please? Hi there, and thanks for writing in to us! So often, we…
Hi Love Lounge, I’ve just moved to a new city and am finding it hard to find accessible places to go, and that’s causing me to feel quite lonely as meeting new people and finding relationships is almost impossible! Can you help me please? Hi there, and thanks so…
Dear Love Lounge, I’ve been dating this guy for a while and things are going really well. It’s been a few months now, and I know we’re going to sleep with each other soon…! My muscles can get particularly tight and sore during sex, how can I let him know…
Hi Mik and Emily, I have a physical disability and use a wheelchair every so often. If not, I walk on crutches. I’ve recently just come out of a long term relationship with someone who I thought was ‘it’. I’m feeling pretty low and don’t really know where to start! Can you give…
Hi Emily, It’s been a while since I felt intimacy with a partner, and it’s bringing me down. Men pay for sex and companionship all the time, but the same thing doesn’t seem as acceptable for women. I’m really thinking of taking the plunge and booking an escort for a…
Dear Love Lounge, I’m finally getting comfortable with the online dating scene and really enjoying flirting again! I’m really struggling with something though: if a guy I’m talking to suddenly goes quiet, doesn’t reply or doesn’t show up to a date, I always think that it’s got something to do…