Learning Disabilities and the Capacity to Consent

Posted by | Emily Yates, The Love Lounge, Undressing Disability | No Comments

Ella “I’m interested to know what you think about the court’s decision that a young woman with learning disabilities and a history of abusive relationships does have mental capacity to consent to sex: http://dailym.ai/1wBHexD I personally find it tricky because while, on the one hand it’s important people with learning disabilities are treated with respect and have equal rights to the rest of us, on the other hand don’t we as a society have a duty to protect vulnerable people from abuse?” Emily Hi Ella. Wow, great question. I personally find this just as tricky as you do, and agree…

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25, transgender with Cerebral Palsy

Posted by | Mik Scarlet, The Love Lounge, Undressing Disability | No Comments

Carl “Hey my names Carl I am 25 with CP. I have had an extensive dating history some of which I am proud of some of which I am not. I guess we all have been there. I am transgender and only recently came out as such. Now bare in mind that I have done the whole internet dating thing as well. What I find is that you get some questions from people that make you question societies common sense in general like, “Have you ever had sex?” Like one, if I hadn’t had sex before would I tell you?…

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Have either of you tried online dating?

Posted by | Mik Scarlet, The Love Lounge, Undressing Disability | No Comments

James Have either of you tried online dating? do you think you need to be upfront about your disability (and risk putting people off!) or should you hide it, and surprise them later on?” Mik Hi James, I am so old that online dating didn’t exist when I was on the prowl, so it’s an unknown concept to me I’m afraid. However I have always been proud of my impairment and cannot see that that would change online. I know that is because I use a wheelchair so it’s not exactly something I can hide, but I also feel it…

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I am 31, single, with Cerebral Palsy…

Posted by | Emily Yates, The Love Lounge, Undressing Disability | No Comments

Fiona “Hi, I am 31, single with CP. I have had only one boyfriend and am feeling alone as all my peers are marrying and having children. I don’t know what to do?” Emily Hi Fiona. Thanks so much for getting in touch. I’ve also got CP and know the feeling of ‘will I ever find someone that’s for me?’ very well indeed. I think that the two main and most important answers that I can give to your question of what to do now in terms of finding a relationship is, firstly, stop comparing yourself to your friends and, secondly, focus on…

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Is sex really all guys in their 20’s are looking for?

Posted by | Mik Scarlet, The Love Lounge, Undressing Disability | No Comments

Liz “Hi Mik, Just over 6 months ago, I came out of my first relationship. It was an amazing time in my life, ok maybe relationship is the wrong word, we were dating for two months. The breakup hurt, but it wasn’t disasterous. He’s not talking to me but that’s fine, he obviously isn’t ready to be friends. However, since that time I’ve been on a few dates and had quite a few guys said they were interested in me. They’re sweet, and funny, and seem genuine; until they turn around and tell me they are only interested in sex. Now I guess I kind of feel…

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The author Holly Williams

Writing, Fantasy, Disability and Me by Holly Williams

Posted by | General | One Comment

When I met Jenny, one of the owners of this site, through the firm where I work and she asked me if I wanted to contribute to this blog, it put me in a bit of a quandary. Of course I was keen and flattered to be asked but where to start? What angle should I come at the topic of disability from? As a writer that has always been a sticky point for me, finding the first sticking point to launch myself into something. So after much pondering I decided what better place to start than writing itself, why…

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My wife and I are very adventurous sexually and are keen to try attending swingers parties…

Posted by | General, Mik Scarlet, My story, The Love Lounge, Undressing Disability | No Comments

James, Milton-Keynes “My wife and I are very adventurous sexually and are keen to try attending swingers parties. However, I have MS and am a wheelchair user. Can I expect the swinging scene to be equipped to deal with and accepting of my disability?” Mik While I haven’t ventured onto the swinging scene, I have many friends who have. I do know that from my contact with them that disability is not really an issue. To be honest I kept finding myself being told that I would “enjoy” myself on that scene as many of them have a tick list,…

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My spina bifida means that my body looks different to everybody else’s…

Posted by | Mik Scarlet, My story, The Love Lounge, Undressing Disability | No Comments

Kelly, Bournemouth – “My spina bifida means that my body looks different to everybody elses. I’m almost too anxious about it now to go clothes shopping and try them on in the changing rooms. How can I get some confidence?” Mik – To me this issue is one of the biggest that many disabled people have to contend with. However much we might outwardly appear confident, and claim to be proud of our impairments, we live in a society that is obsessed with perfection and let’s face it, we are only human. We cannot help but be influenced by this…

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I haven’t been on a date in well over a year and am finding it increasingly hard to meet women…

Posted by | Mik Scarlet, My story, The Love Lounge, Undressing Disability | No Comments

Peter, Bath – “I haven’t been on a date in well over a year and am finding it increasingly hard to meet women and get out of the house because of the pain of my early onset osteoporosis. How can I get myself motivated and out the house?” Mik – Dear Peter, I also know the joys of chronic pain and how debilitating it can be. I have tried everything to fight it, both conventional and alternative, and I might suggest trying Mindfullness. It’s a meditation technique thatmight sound a but hippy dippy, but I have found it really works….

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My longterm girlfriend and I are separating but she is the only person who knows how to deal with my disability

Posted by | Mik Scarlet, The Love Lounge, Undressing Disability | No Comments

Melissa, London – “My longterm girlfriend and I are separating but she is the only person who knows how to deal with my disability and I have become very reliant on her. I am paralysed from the waist down, a wheelchair user and am scared of facing life without the aid of my partner and the prospect of not meeting somebody so understanding. How can I cope?” Mik – Hi Melissa, as someone who is also paralysed like you, and who had a very similar experience in my past, I can only say do not be scared. I know that…

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