The author Holly Williams

Holly Williams on Care Homes and Independence

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I’ve been in trouble for opening my mouth again. If you know anything about me you will realise that there’s nothing new there. It happened last week at work when one of my colleagues told me to stop asking her whether she regrets moving out of her mum’s house and into the care home where some of the rest of our work mates live. Apparently I ask her this every week (true, I guess) and the answer is always the same. Yes, she’s happy because she is no longer reliant on her mother for care and is with friends her…

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“I have cerebral palsy and can count my sexual experiences on the fingers of one hand.”

Posted by | Emily Yates, Mik Scarlet, My story, The Love Lounge, Undressing Disability | No Comments

“You invite people to share their stories of sexuality. I have cerebral palsy and can count my sexual experiences on the fingers of one hand. A psychiatrist once tried telling me this was because I was sexually deviant. I did not argue, but I felt he was mistaken and that he had no basis for advising me because he was not disabled and had not had any experience remotely related to disability.I would genuinely like to know how much you relate to this experience and its point of view. Thank you very much indeed.​” – James Emily – “Hi James,…

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“I have Muscular Dystrophy and my girlfriend has Cerebral Palsy…”

Posted by | Emily Yates, My story, The Love Lounge, Undressing Disability | No Comments

“I have muscular dystrophy and my girlfriend has cerebral palsy. We’ve been together 7 months and we need advice as to moving forward and getting more intimate. We both have severe disability and limited movement.” – Richard Hi Richard, Great to hear from you and many thanks for contacting the Love Lounge.  Finding intimacy that works can undoubtedly be more difficult when you and your partner both have a disability, but certainly not impossible! I have Cerebral Palsy myself and I am currently with an able-bodied partner, but I have had very fulfilling sexual relationships with other disabled partners too. The biggest and…

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The author Holly Williams

Personal Assistants and the Professional Line By Holly Williams

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I got a text message from a friend a couple of weeks ago that she asked me to pass on to as many people as I could so I thought I’d use this blog to do just that. It goes:- ‘When is it socially acceptable to ignore an employer and talk to their personal assistant about them in front of them? I as a disabled person employing a P.A don’t think this should ever be socially acceptable but an incident today shows it still socially acceptable to some people. Please treat everyone with respect.’ Powerful words, very well put I’m…

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“My parents have always been over protective of me…”

Posted by | Emily Yates, General, The Love Lounge, Undressing Disability | No Comments

“My parents have always been over protective of me because of my disability which leaves me with limited movement in my joints and reliant on a wheelchair. But now I’m 17 I’ve gotten a lot better at navigating everyday tasks and I’m a lot less dependant on my parents. Last year I even started school for the first time after being home schooled and I even met a guy who wants to go on a date with me. But unfortunately I really don’t think my parents will let me as they’re too protective. How can I sway them? I can’t…

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“I’ve just started seeing an amazing girl in the year above…”

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“I’ve just started seeing an amazing girl in the year above from school. She knows I’m partially blind and it’s never been a big deal. But one of the only places we can hang out is at the cinema which doesn’t have many accessible movies with audio description. I don’t want her to get bored with me! What other fun cheap dates could I take her on?”  Matthew – Liverpool Hi! Some of my most memorable dates have been the cheapest! It’s great that you want to mix it up a bit, and I’m sure she will love the date,…

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“I’m 15 and the only wheelchair user in a mainstream school…”

Posted by | Emily Yates, The Love Lounge, Undressing Disability | No Comments

“I’m 15 and the only wheelchair user in a mainstream school. I have a lot of friends but really like one guy in our group as more than that. He’s nice to me but I don’t think he looks at me in that way. How can I get him to notice me and not the wheelchair?” Rachel – Crawley   Hi Rachel, it’s a great question, and a situation that many of us have been through.  I think the one and only answer I can really give is be yourself and let yourself shine.  Most people are the best versions…

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The author Holly Williams

Holly Williams on Able-bodied and Disabled Friendships

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There is an old Chinese proverb that says friends are the family you choose for yourself. Actually it could be just a fridge magnet I saw once but either way I’m not 100% sure I agree with the sentiment. In my experience, friends are just the people you know who you find most tolerable and you don’t bug enough for them to avoid. Does anyone really choose who they become friends with and if you do what do you look for in a friend? In a way, it’s harder to form a friendship than start a romance. Think about it,…

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The author Holly Williams

Holly Williams on Disability, Body Image and Fashion

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‘What on earth has Rene Zellweger done to her face?’ That seems to be the question every other person (me included) has been asking this week. The ‘Chicago’ star’s drastic physical transformation has been the latest event to trigger a thousand discussions on the subject of the idealised body beautiful and the pressure on women to live up to impossible airbrushed standards of celebrity. But amid the arguments about what such images are doing to the minds of impressionable girls and insecure women up and down the country, I can’t help but think where disabled women like me fit into…

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Learning Disabilities and the Capacity to Consent

Posted by | Emily Yates, The Love Lounge, Undressing Disability | No Comments

Ella “I’m interested to know what you think about the court’s decision that a young woman with learning disabilities and a history of abusive relationships does have mental capacity to consent to sex: http://dailym.ai/1wBHexD I personally find it tricky because while, on the one hand it’s important people with learning disabilities are treated with respect and have equal rights to the rest of us, on the other hand don’t we as a society have a duty to protect vulnerable people from abuse?” Emily Hi Ella. Wow, great question. I personally find this just as tricky as you do, and agree…

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