Skip to main content

The Love Lounge Live

Here’s a selection of your messages and questions answered by our non expert sexperts…

The new love lounge logo in pink


Have you got a question you’d like to ask us? Then get in touch!

Send us your questionLearn more about The Love Lounge
Pink and red paper heart in a chain

Love Lounge: Need advice on finding love after a stroke

By Sex & disability, The Love Lounge, Undressing Disability

The Question:

I had a stroke 5 years ago, in my 30s. I lost 80% of my left hemisphere and had to learn to walk and talk again.  I’m so lucky that I have regained my mobility and speech – I know others who have only lost a tiny part of their brain, but due to where the stroke was, have lost speech. 

My difficulty is that I can’t read or write. This makes daily life such a challenge – looking at timetables for buses, planning, meeting people, and I can no longer work.

My relationship broke down and I’d like to meet someone else but it’s so hard using dating apps when I can’t read and write. There’s no flow and everything takes ages to copy and paste for my phone to read it to me, so I think people will lose interest. Any ideas?

Jayden

The answer:

Hi,

Well done on your recovery for a start! 

Are you using the accessibility features on your smartphone? iPhone has a built-in screen reader called VoiceOver, and the Android equivalent is called TalkBack.  These will speak back to you what is on the screen and give auditory descriptions of screen elements, notifications and alerts. However, they definitely take a while to get used to navigating it. As your sight isn’t affected, a YouTube video tutorial might be beneficial!!

Another option is to use dating apps that allow you to send voice notes and videos – such as Hinge. This means you can be more free-flowing and show your personality as you are, rather than taking ages to send messages back and forth.

The other way is to go old school and meet people in person! Get involved in activities, etc, that you enjoy and meet people that way. They’ll have a common interest and see all elements of you, not the restricted version, battling with text messages! 

Best,

Zoe

Want to read more Love Lounge questions? Head to our blog post page to find more

Joy is a visually impaired woman of colour. She is wearing a pink patterned dress and gold hoop earrings. She is facing the camera and smiling while wearing glasses. She is sitting on a park bench in the summer. THe other half of the image is a retro microphone in a pink light as Joy is a podcaster.

Joy Addo on…….parenting, visual impairments and podcasting

By Sex & disability, The Love Lounge, Undressing Disability

Joy Addo is a mother and podcaster. Her podcast, Joy’s World, is a wonderful, open and honest account of her life as a blind, and (soon to be!) mother of three.

She shares her journey, podcasting, talking about vaginas and what we can do to support visually impaired people.


Can you tell us a bit about yourself and your journey with being visually impaired?

My name is Joy Addo. I am 31, a mother of two girls, and I am currently pregnant with my third child. I have been registered blind since the age of around four. My mum noticed that one eye was smaller than the other, and I was bumping into things a lot as a child. When she finally got me diagnosed, they discovered my inflammatory eye condition, and ever since, I have had many surgeries to keep me with a tiny amount of vision in my left eye.

How has this shaped your identity both personally and professionally?

I feel that having a visual impairment has shaped who I am as a person, as the challenges I have faced have been unique to me.

Navigating the world as a black disabled person has its challenges, but also its perks. I feel that not being able to see has led me to meet some amazing people and, therefore, have some fantastic experiences. However, coming to terms with my disability as a child was difficult, but once I overcame it, I felt life had changed for the better.

What made you decide to start your podcast?

I decided to start Joy’s World podcast as I have always had a lot to say. I felt that my ex experiences as a young black blind single mother at the time were something that I hadn’t heard of many people speaking about publicly and I wanted to voice and share all of my Wild and crazy experiences.

I also wanted to talk about dating as a disabled woman, as again I felt that this was missing. Now on my podcast, after years of recording, I speak about everything to do with my life. I call it an audio diary, which is definitely not suitable for my parents or children to hear.

How do you choose the topics you talk about?

The topics on my podcast vary from week to week, and it often just depends on what has happened to me during that week, if there is anything in particular that has made me feel a certain way. And to be perfectly honest, a lot of the time I just end up talking about vaginas.

Are there any episodes in particular that are personal favourites or that you are really proud of?

At the risk of sounding big-headed, I would say I am honestly proud of every single episode as I know how much it takes to talk and be honest on a public platform. But if I had to pick one or two special episodes, I would say definitely the episodes where I have interviewed People that I look up to hold a special place in my heart.

The episode with Audrey from The Receipts Podcast is one that is very dear to me, as she is a podcast host I have listened to and respected for many years.

How has being a parent shaped your experience of disability?

I think being a parent with a disability has actually made me more confident in myself. When I was pregnant with my first child, everyone from medical professionals to health visitors underestimated my ability to care for my child due to my disability. I then felt that I had a point approved and that I had to do everything myself.

Now, although I know that is not necessarily the best way to go about things, I feel that having that mindset that I can do everything has helped me parent my children and has helped both myself and them understand that we can do anything together. People underestimate blind people all the time, and people underestimate children. But my children are certainly aware of my disability and the challenges I face, but they also understand it is my superpower.

Are there any misconceptions that people have about visually impaired parents that you feel need to be addressed?

I think the main misconception that people have when it comes to being a blind parent is that there are many things we can’t do. Now, although it is always good to get help in general, I think people need to understand that we always find a way around things.

Our children do not go without, and they do not miss out on anything. Just because you may not know how you would cope being a blind parent, does not mean that we are not capable.

What are some small, practical changes that would make everyday life easier for visually impaired people?

I think the main thing that needs to change is people’s attitude towards disability in general. People fear what they do not know, and often, we do not know how having a certain impairment or disability will affect people, and therefore, we display internal ableism. 

Once people’s attitudes change towards disability, then people will be more open to reasonable adjustments, which will therefore make many disabled people’s lives much easier.

You can listen to Joy’s World on Apple Podcasts.

Want to read more blogs on disability? Why not visit our blog page to find more!

two images together A close-up portrait of a person with layered pastel purple hair and blunt bangs. They are wearing large gold hoop earrings and have soft pink makeup, including shimmery pink eyeshadow and glossy lipstick. The person is looking directly at the camera with a slight smile. The other photo is the same person in a leopard print blazer smiling at the camera and standing up

Amy Butterworth on….Long Covid, recovery and accepting vunerability

By Sex & disability, The Love Lounge, Undressing Disability

Amy Butterworth is a Long COVID activist, coach and talented writer. She is a powerful advocate for people living with Long Covid (LC), and her Instagram is a valuable source of inspiring tips and advice on managing the condition.

She shares what life was like for her before LC and what quick wins we can implement to support others.

What was life like for you pre-COVID?

I was managing a team at the Scouts, designing the programme of badges and activities, ensuring they were inclusive and accessible and preparing our young people for the changing world. I loved travelling the country and meeting groups to understand what they wanted from the programme, and how inclusive co-designing can create that.

Just before I got sick, I launched the Money Skills Activity Badge for Beavers and Cubs, which I was hugely proud of. I made sure we were co-designing with leaders and young people with different cultural, religious and neurodivergent backgrounds, specifically dyscalculia. Outside of work, I would set myself a physical challenge every year (triathlon, half marathon, boxing match), I loved going to gigs, theatre and comedy, and generally being the one you could call on to pick you up from the airport or watch your kids. 

When did you contract COVID, and what has it meant for you since then?

I got it in July 2021, and it changed everything. It was like a very exhausting flu, but after the cough went away and my sense of smell returned (ugh, that was the weirdest part), the fatigue persisted. I felt very weak, exhausted by walking, and my breath felt like hard work. My workplace was kind and patient, but I couldn’t return – I couldn’t guarantee that I could be a reliable colleague, so we had to terminate my contract.

I had to focus on my recovery and, after another year, I realised that this wasn’t recovery, it’s just how my body is now. That acceptance helped to change my attitude. I’m not ‘trying to get better’, I’m accepting this as my best, and let’s start here.

I started sharing my mindset and practical tips on Instagram in March 2024, as @longcovidrockstar, and it has really helped me make something of this experience. I’m still on the sofa 70% of the time, but now I feel a part of something, and that’s huge.

You can follow Amy at her Instagram page, LongCovidRockstar

What are some of the biggest misconceptions people have about Long Covid?

Many people just don’t understand it, and it speaks to a lot of systems that we have been living in: that fatigue is just laziness, and we’re not trying hard enough (capitalism), that it’s probably not as bad as you think (misogyny), or that we are choosing to live like this (ableism). We struggle with the concept of ‘chronic’ conditions because that narrative is ‘you get sick, then you get better’, but these illnesses are lifelong, and it can be scary to see people like me get disabled who were previously very healthy. We represent the fallibility and randomness of the body.

Long COVID has a few cousins (ME, MS, CFS, etc), and it is experienced differently by everyone. 200+ symptoms, 65 million people worldwide, it’s been hard to find a correlation in such a recent illness. Some people recover, others are bedbound, some push through, and everything in between. So that inconsistency makes it hard to understand and, honestly, develop sympathy for people with it. 

What has been the biggest adjustment for you?

Not knowing that I can always rely on my body. The humility that limited energy brings. I walk with a stick now. I use a wheelchair on outings. I can work for 2 hours a week. I cancel plans frequently because I don’t have the energy. I have learned how to give myself grace for all of these – I used to see them as failures, now they are simply how I live, no judgement. 

Learning to accept my vulnerability and ask for (and accept) help. I was so proud of my independence, and this has shown me how much I need my support network – and that it was there all along. There has been some profound heartbreak of some people not staying with me on this journey, and the overwhelming love and understanding I have received from my family and friends who have stuck by me has helped me adjust to this new way of living (and loving). I am very aware that not everyone has this – even just being believed is a really big thing for people with ‘invisible’ illnesses – and so I try to share the love where I can. 

Giving myself the grace to rest, the kindness and patience I speak to myself with now are very different. Like many others, I would assign my value to how much I could do/produce/achieve in each day, that ‘stress meant that I cared enough’, that burnout meant I had worked ‘hard enough’.

I’ve been reading a lot about activist history, and that Audre Lorde line is a foundational tenet now: “Caring for myself is not self-indulgence, it is self-preservation, and that is an act of political warfare.” Do not underestimate just how political it is to claim ownership over your own body, especially a female one, or a queer one, a trans one, or a disabled on, or a Black or Brown one – capitalism forces us to ignore our bodies, and when we rest we are protesting that. We put ourselves first, we deserve it, my one wild and precious life will not be focused entirely on punishing myself, my self, or my body, for your standards.

You are so open on social media about what your life is like with LC. Have you found community online, or how has it been to be so open?

I am very careful about what I choose to share and what I’m ready to talk about, and that will continue to change. I am lucky enough to be working with a great therapist, and through our conversations, I’m learning how to give language to what I’m going through, which I pass on to others in case it’s helpful. I’m also careful about not using social media to heal a wound – that is my job, not the function of likes, or seeking validation in the comments. Maddy Alexander-Grout says, ‘show the scar, not the wound’, so as I heal, I feel more ready to share. My background is in comedy, so it’s been really fun tapping into that and making sketches again (I speak to myself as ‘Ego’ and ‘Grace’ about different aspects of long covid, and they are surprisingly filthy and self-righteous, I really enjoy that). I think my honesty about how hard living with long covid is helps people feel seen, and my practical tips on how to ‘still’ do things help people feel empowered to do things, carefully. 

The community have been amazing, I’ve been so lucky in who continues to show up, and it feels like a very kind and powerful corner of the internet. They’re all on the sofa as well, and just as funny and creative and brave and mouthy and kind, but their frustration is how to ‘still’ be everything that they are, even with long covid. I’m trying to show them that this is still possible. For example, I am still a big rock music fan, but I can’t get out to gigs as much, so I’m on the sofa in leather trousers. 

What quick wins could people put in place to make things (could be workplace or social spaces) more accessible for people with LC?

The quick wins can be “imagine attending this event when you’ve not slept for 3 days, and you have a hangover, and you’ve broken your leg so you’re on crutches”. This will put you in the mind of someone’s exhaustion, nerves about events and their physical mobility:

  • Images/videos of the venue so they can imagine themselves there
  • Free companion ticket
  • Physically accessible space. If it isn’t, then acknowledge this, and ask what access needs might help (e.g. “our front door isn’t accessible for wheelchairs, but we can ensure you a seat in a prime location for the event” or something.)
  • Ask what time of day their energy is best suited to the meeting/conversation
  • Recognise that they will be resting before and after the event, sometimes for days, so if you need a follow-up, be prepared for that.

You can find Amy on her Instagram page at LongCovidRockstar

Marcia is a Black woman who is wearing gold and brown scarf onher head. She has a black blazer on with gold hoop earrings. She is smiling at the camera while holding a copy of her book, Black, Brilliant and Dyslexic

Marcia Brissett-Bailey on……being Black, brilliant and dyslexic

By Sex & disability, The Love Lounge, Undressing Disability

Marcia Brisset-Bailey is the author of the book, ‘Black, Brilliant Dyslexic‘, published by Jessica Kingsley Publishers.

She was named one of the Top 50 influential neurodivergent women in 2022 and was featured in Forbes. She is a powerful advocate for dyslexic people, in particular neurodivergent young people, empowering them to have confidence and good self-esteem.

Want to find a copy of Black, Brilliant and Dyslexic? Why not visit the Jessica Kingsley Publisher website and use our code, ENHANCE20, to get 20% off?

We sit down with Marcia to find out more about her, her dyslexia and what inspired her book.

Can you tell us about your personal journey with dyslexia and how it has shaped who you are today?
My journey with dyslexia has been deeply layered, shaped by the intersection of being a Black woman from a working-class background. I wasn’t formally diagnosed until I was 16 and in college, but I had always sensed from primary through secondary school that I processed information differently, even if I didn’t yet have the language to describe it.

Growing up, I often felt misunderstood, labelled, or overlooked. I loved learning and had a real passion for school, but it didn’t always love me back. That disconnect created a lot of emotional distress. I developed anxiety and became selectively mute for a time. The experience was traumatic, as on top of that, I felt as a black girl I had to work twice as hard, but it also planted the seeds of my resilience.

Over time, what was once seen as a barrier became a powerful part of my identity. My dyslexia, alongside my cultural heritage, has helped shape my creativity, my perspective, and my ability to think outside the box. It’s taught me how to navigate systems not built with me in mind, and ultimately how to advocate — not just for myself, but for others whose voices are too often unheard especially within marginalised communities.

What were some of the biggest challenges you faced growing up as a Black dyslexic woman?

The intersection of race, gender, and neurodiversity brought a unique set of challenges. As a young Black girl in the education system, my struggles were often misread as slow, just shy and lacking confidence and self-esteem. I didn’t see myself reflected in books or conversations that felt positive about learning differences. That invisibility was tough — it made me question my abilities. But it also fuelled a determination to rewrite the narrative when my school teacher told my parents I would never academically achieve, I want to ensure others do not feel isolated.

What inspired you to create this collection of stories from the Black dyslexic community?
Black, Brilliant and Dyslexic was born out of both frustration and hope. I wanted to create the book I wish I had growing up — a collection that affirms our voices, highlights our strengths, and acknowledges our struggles. Representation matters deeply. When we see ourselves reflected in stories, it opens up a world of possibility. I knew there were powerful voices out there — they just needed a platform.

How did you go about finding and connecting with the contributors to the book?
It was a journey of building trust and community. Some contributors were people I’d followed or connected with through social media or advocacy work. Others were introduced through networks of educators, creatives, and change-makers. Each person brought their truth, courage, and brilliance to the table. I’m so proud of the honesty and vulnerability in these stories.

Were there any stories in the book that particularly surprised, moved, or resonated with you?
Every single story moved me in some way. But I was particularly struck by those who had to navigate silence — those who were undiagnosed for years until they went to university (what happens if you do not go to university, what then?) or had to hide their challenges just to survive. The strength and perseverance in those stories reminded me why this work is so necessary. There’s still so much stigma to break down, but these stories are a step toward healing acceptance and  empowerment.

What advice would you give to young Black dyslexic individuals who are struggling to find their voice or feel seen?
You are not alone, find community groups or hubs you can find to feel supported in the way you think, learning, and see the world is valid and valuable. Don’t let systems that weren’t designed with you in mind define your worth. Find your voice, ask for help, and find your tribe — people who see you and support you. And remember, your story matters. We need your voice in the room, at the table, and in the world.

I am no longer playing small and unapologetically me, a black dyslexic woman. 

Want to find a copy of Black, Brilliant and Dyslexic? Why not visit the Jessica Kingsley Publisher website and use our code, ENHANCE20, to get 20% off?

Want to read more about disabled people and their experiences? Visit our dedicated blog page for more stories!

Censorship and social media: there are lots of cartoon social media buttons like a like, a heart, thumbs up on a peach background

Censorship and Social media: Can we talk?

By Sex & disability, The Love Lounge, Undressing Disability

We need to talk about social media. 

It doesn’t feel good out there and if we are honest, it hasn’t for a while. Undressing Disability is a sex-positive, informative, educational resource. We are a campaign run by, designed by, written by disabled and neurodivergent people, for the very community we are a part of. 

It started as a way to showcase how sexy our community is and that disabled people still want and enjoy sex. . It now includes a podcast, educational resources, a free support service called the Love Lounge, events and training. As part of this, we often share photos of sexy disabled people being their gorgeous selves. 

Hell, we’ve even organised the photoshoots!

Noticing the difference

However, it’s getting harder and harder to reach our audience. Earlier this year, we decided to come off Twitter/X after it became apparent our community was leaving – with good reason. While it was hard to say goodbye to the hard work we had put into it, it was the right decision.

Instagram has been the main social media page for us for some time. We have made so many beautiful friendships and collaborations through it. However, Instagram does not enjoy our content nor does it like many of the other sexual health educators, influencers, and workers who are all part of it. We do not use TikTok but do note that we’ve heard similar complaints about the content there. 

Visit our Undressing Disability Instagram page.

We’ve watched as our posts on consent or safer sex are barely viewed compared to ones that aren’t about anything sexual. We’ve tried hiding our words by writing seggs instead of sex. We’ve added the symbols or numbers in desperation, like k!nk instead of kink or even bre@sts instead of breasts. It’s time-consuming, problematic and infuriating. Not to mention, ableist when you consider how many people using screen readers might struggle, or people with dyslexia. It also looks ridiculous. 

It’s important to know the right words for our bodies, our sexual health and our sexuality. By removing such words, we are contributing to health illiteracy. Avoiding these words feeds into the idea that such language is dirty or bad. 

It’s what we have to do to avoid our account not being seen at all, banned, blocked or removed completely. There are so many ways in which this censorship affects disabled/neurodivergent people. We aim to make our social media content as accessible as possible by using things like alt text, checking the colour contrast and video captions. It’s frustrating to have to write @n@l because we can’t use the real word, making the text less accessible. Even putting these words into the actual graphic appears to no longer work. We do offer an alternative, that if people are struggling to read these words, they can get in touch with us and we will type it in a message – but this is a lengthy alternative that frankly, no one should have to do.

This censorship feels as if it ranges from the real (the wording, the blocking and banning) to the ridiculous (apparently we can no longer use the aubergine emoji as it’s flagged as sexy content) to the harmful (the loose wording around sexual roles could place LGBT+ people at a greater risk of censorship). 

How does this harm us?

Hands up if you feel your sex education at school was less than informative? Does the sex information in magazines feature disabled models or voices? How many books are written about sex positions or advice for disabled people vs non-disabled people?

Younger generations are turning to social media to get the education they feel they didn’t get at school. This includes disabled people who are often left out of the conversation entirely. If the chance to access safe, accurate information is removed then where does that leave us? 

Not to mention, creating content is time-consuming, expensive and exhausting. A lot of disabled people do not have the energy or resources to keep replacing content that is taken down nor should they have to.

We travel around the UK with the Love Lounge offering free advice to disabled people. We know that disabled people have a lot of questions about sex, relationships and love. We also know that they often feel lonely and depressed without a community. This is the positive side of social media, it can help people to access information and connect with people. 

Visit our Love Lounge page to find out how to get free, confidential support

So what is the answer?

The immediate response is usually to leave social media. This isn’t possible as to do so leaves charities like ours out of the conversation completely. It means we would struggle to speak to our audience at all. 

The ‘answer’ or the solution is for the social media companies to resolve. This means investing in humans instead of bots when it comes to content moderation and clearer guidelines around their wording. For those of us in the sexual information or education field, is it that they have a special verification mark so that readers know the content is fact-checked and researched?

It might even be that we leave the platform to its own devices and join one made by the community, for the community.

We might even get to use the aubergine emoji again.

Want to join our mailing list to hear all about the events, updates and community news? Visit our mailing page and add your email.

ADHD: A person sitting on a computer on a bed. They are relaxed and wearing a white t-shirt with long dark hair

Love Lounge: I have ADHD and I’m struggling to find a relationship

By Sex & disability, The Love Lounge, Undressing Disability

The question:

Hey,

I’m struggling with being newly diagnosed with ADHD in my mid 30’s. I’m very confident, sociable and achieve well at work too.  The area I struggle with is in relationships. I have had people cheat on me, I get bored easily so seek people who are as crazy and fun-loving as me and find dating apps just the worst! The chat is so boring and every time I don’t like someone, I think it must be my fault – why can’t I accept having a normal middle-of-the-road kind of relationship?

The other thing that is worrying me is medication for my ADHD. I like who I am; I like my carefree nature and have real sadness about losing that. Who am I underneath, after the medication suppresses the ADHD? I’m also in therapy at the moment to help adjust to my new diagnosis.

Thanks for your time,

Amy

The answer:

Hello Amy,

Not everybody wants the norm…and in today’s world, we’re able to be freer in our choices of how we date, co-habit, and make a family.  Particularly with more people being diagnosed or identifying as neurodivergent in their 30’s and 40’s this can help explain why they maybe haven’t felt like they’ve wanted or enjoyed the ‘mainstream’ kind of relationship.

Surely, we can’t all be cut out to fulfil society’s doctrine of monogamy and 2.4 children. So cut yourself some slack, you’re not strange or awkward to not find this vision appealing, or doable, for you. Own it and be confident about the type of person and relationship you’re wanting – and then hopefully you’ll attract like minded people. 

With regard to losing your carefree nature – I can understand that fear of loss. I think any kind of therapy, understanding oneself, healing etc can all feel scary because we only know what we know. Who will we be on the other side? That’s a legitimate concern. However, the medication (and therapy) will help you identify behaviours that don’t work for you now, or that create more chaos, and you can find suitable strategies to manage these. If the medication helps take the edge off, it doesn’t mean it will take away your personality – you’ll probably find it just helps you cope, organise, think more easily.

Hopefully alleviating stresses in your life.  It won’t eradicate ‘Amy’.  As you adapt, picking and choosing the traits that you’d like to keep that work for you, and letting go of those that don’t serve you well, people may think you’re behaving differently and therefore be slightly different with you too. That’s normal, you’re no longer playing the role in a game they’re used to you playing. Overtime, you will reassert your boundaries and they will respect this.

It’s a process, but you will only ever be a more enhanced version of you. Remember it is all within your control too – whether you stop meds, do more or less therapy, choose to let people know you’re on a new pathway etc.

Good luck!!

Zoe  

Want to read more about disability, love, sex and everything in between? Of course, you do! Why not visit our page with more Love Lounge questions

 

A white wine glass against a black background and warm fairy lights. A big pink circle announces there is an event called Mingle all the way on dec 4th

Enhance the UK/Undressing Disability – Mingle all the Way

By Event, Sex & disability, The Love Lounge, Undressing Disability

Enhance the UK/ Undressing Disability would like to invite you to a ‘mingle all the way’ festive evening to celebrate all their achievements this year.

Enhance the UK is a user-led disability charity that not only runs worldwide campaigns around dispelling myths about disability but also delivers groundbreaking training across the UK and beyond. Join us to find out more!

We have transformed our central London location into an alpine , ski retreat lodge and want you to pop in and get all cosy for the evening.

Included in this invite will be :

  • Free drinks and festive nibbles
  • Entertainment from the first and only amputee drag queen in the world -Eileen Eifell (I lean – I fell….)
  • Photo opportunities in our amazing decor and photobooth
  • Much more…..

It’s a unique opportunity to connect with like-minded professionals while celebrating the season in style!

At the event, we’ll also be sharing information about our disability awareness training and unveiling new courses for 2025.

Event Details:
🗓 Date: Wednesday, December 4
🕒 Time: 5:30 – 9 pm
📍 Location: Sketch House 36 Clifton Terrace Finsbury Park London N4 3JP

Please RSVP to secure your spot by visiting the event link

*Please email hello@enhancetheuk.org for any access or dietary requirements. Examples of access requirements could include accessible route maps, BSL interpreters, accessible toilets, BSL interpreters or quiet rooms.

A pink and black advert for black friday 20% disability and sexuality training

Disability and Sexual Expression Training: Get 20% off in our Black Friday Deal!

By Disability, Sex & disability, The Love Lounge, Undressing Disability

Looking to book Disability and Sexual Expression training or Disability Awareness Training for your organisation in the New Year?

You’ve come to the right place!

We are launching our Black Friday deal where you can get 20% off
Disability and Sexual Expression training or disability awareness training if you book or enquire from now until 21st of December 2024. That includes all of our training sessions to be held before the end of March 2025.

Not sure what sessions we offer?

We offer lots of different training courses both online and in person that can be tailored to suit your needs. Need more information?

Click on the links below to read more about each course.

This includes:

 Email hello@enhancetheuk.org to book a session 

Got questions? Why not visit our Calendly page to book a consultation with our expert trainers

Quote BLACKFRIDAY when you email to make sure you get 20% off any sessions before March 2025.

(See terms and conditions below)

What makes Enhance training sessions different?

Our trainers are all disabled themselves and accessibility experts and can share their personal lived experience.

Using a powerful combination of expert knowledge and lived experience we can support your businesses or organisation to become more accessible. We are committed to working with organisations in a supportive way, regardless of your starting point we can help you become accessible and inclusive.

What is Disability and Sexual Expression training?

Sexuality and disability training is crucial for creating an inclusive and respectful environment for disabled individuals.

Our virtual sexual expression training offers a deep dive into the intimate experiences of disabled people, addressing barriers to sexual expression and how to remove them.

Delivered by disabled trainers, this 3.5-hour course covers key topics like the social model of disability, effective communication, and appropriate terminology. Participants will gain an understanding of the importance of sexual expression, privacy, and dignity, and learn how carers and personal assistants can better support disabled people in navigating these challenges.

This training ensures that disabled individuals’ sexual needs and rights are respected and understood.

Why not get in touch and remember to quote the 20% code – BLACKFRIDAY when booking! Email hello@enhancetheuk.org for more details or to book a free consultation.

Want to stay up to date with all the latest news, events and accessibility tips? Why not sign up to our mail out to get access to get early access and discounts? Visit the sign up landing page

 

 

BLACK FRIDAY OFFER TERMS AND CONDITIONS:

T&CS

1 – This offer cannot be used with any others. 2 – This Black Friday deal can be used on training scheduled before March and not afterwards. 3 – Offer runs out after December 20th at 12 pm. 4 – Offer only valid on in-person/virtual training sessions this excludes access audits both in-person and virtual and BSL for your website options. 4- Offer can only be used once per organisation. 5 – You have to quote BLACKFRIDAY at the time of booking. It cannot be added retrospectively. 6 – Offer cannot be applied to training already booked 7 –  This is only available on training run through Enhance the UK. 8 – Only available on training sessions both in person and virtual. 9- We reserve the right to decline orders where, a promotion code is invalid. 10- We reserve the right to change these Terms and Conditions at any time. 11- Any training sessions booked after March 31st will be booked at full price as code is no longer valid.

 

Disability and friendship: A person using a wheelchair. A close up of their hand on the wheel of the chair with a room in the background

Disability and friendship: How do I open up to my friends about what life is really like for me?

By The Love Lounge, Undressing Disability

The question:

I’m in my mid 60’s and am having more and more health problems of late.  The last few years have been difficult. But what I find most problematic is my circle of friends not really understanding what life is like for me.

I laugh a lot with people, so they think I’m ok and they don’t seem to remember about the issues I have told them. They either act surprised when I mention things or scoff as though it’s not really that bad.

I feel really misunderstood and don’t know how to change it. It’s affecting my confidence when I go out with them. 

Ali 

The Answer:

Hi Ali,

This is hard when you don’t feel understood and then, as a result, feel unsupported by your friends. I remember having similar feelings years ago and my therapist telling me that it’s also my responsibility to tell people what’s really going on. It’s unfair for them to be expected to know how it really is for you when you haven’t communicated everything to them.

Perhaps because you’re jokey and smiley they don’t see the whole picture, and then when you say something that feels serious to you, it doesn’t land as it should perhaps because of the delivery. If you find it hard to hold the space and be serious in telling your story, perhaps choose one friend who you are closer to and ask to have a chat away from the group. Tell them what’s going on for you, health-wise but also that you find it hard to be taken seriously by the group. You could also ask them to be your spokesperson and tell the rest of the group for you.

Hopefully this will prompt them to acknowledge your feelings more and I’m sure they will come and support you once they know how you’ve been feeling. Another option, if you can’t verbalise it well, is to write to them (as a group or to your closest friend) and speak freely that way.

I’m sure they love and support you and are just missing your cues – then the more you lose confidence the harder it is for you to make yourself heard.

Communicate well, be honest and the love will come back to you!

Warmly,

Zoe

Love this? Read more Love Lounge questions by visiting our blog page.

 

A red and black typewriter with one single sheet of white paper

Love Lounge: Disabled, deaf and looking for love….help!

By Sex & disability, The Love Lounge, Undressing Disability

The question:

Dear Love Lounge,

I’m disabled (I’m deaf and have difficulty with mobility) and have been keenly watching Married At First Sight.  It’s been great to see a deaf person represented in Ross. But it’s been making me feel even more sad because I see how easily he’s got into this relationship with Sacha and how she’s so accepting of him, and I have never experienced that.  I feel like more of a failure – am I so bad? Am I ugly? Or is it because I also have mobility issues that people don’t want me?

I know I’m being self-pitying but I’m cross that it has made me feel like this when I should be excited that a deaf person is being seen on tv and having a successful relationship.

Sorry but I just need some support.

Sam

The answer:

Hi Sam,

I can really appreciate how you feel when you see others being able to do something that you’re really wanting to do, especially when you see them with the thing that you feel limits you.

It could be that you perceive your disability as a negative thing and don’t go out there with your confident pants on and feeling proud of who you are. But that’s never easy, particularly if your self-worth has been dented.

Have you had therapy before to learn to be comfortable with your identity and how you are in the world? It sounds like this could be useful for you. I had lots of therapy until I learnt to not be so hard on myself and have some self-acceptance and kindness towards myself. It can be a looong road, but a very worthwhile one.

Once confidence oozes out of you, people will be attracted to that, and your disability won’t be the main thing they focus on.

Whilst MAFS is great to watch, let’s remember it’s for entertainment and they have had the amazing opportunity of the experts matching them with someone. If only we could all have that! However, that’s not to undermine that Ross is obviously very confident, attractive and used to having relationships and you seeing that makes you feel worse.

Myself and other colleagues can also feel inadequate when we see other disabled people on social media being ultra positive and looking like they can conquer anything.. it’s a real thing, even for us who advocate for disabled people and have confidence around it. What we see either on TV or social media is never the whole story, this is why it’s so important for everyone to be authentic and show vulnerabilities too… if you spoke to Ross, you’d surely hear that he’s lacked confidence, found times hard etc. We all have. Try and remember that, and you will have your own story. You may be doing things that other people wish they could achieve.

With more representation though, non-disabled people will realise they can have lovely relationships with disabled people and it is not something to be nervous about.

Try and get yourself out there, socialise with like-minded people, who have similar interests as you and shine from within. That’s what attracts people.

Write out 10 things you love about yourself now and say them to yourself in the mirror every morning and night. Let’s start building your self worth and confidence!

Take care,
Zoe

Looking to read more Love Lounge questions? Why not visit our Love Lounge blog to find more questions and the answers written by our experts.

Top