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This subject is never a nice one, but something that most of us have to go through at least once in our lives.  Breaking up might be the right thing for you and your partner, especially in the long term, but that doesn’t make the ending hurt any less, or make it seem anymore unfair or unjust at the time.  We’re sorry if you’re having a tough time at the moment, but hopefully this post will help you to see the light at the end of the break up tunnel.  Here are our top tips, from experience!

Tip 1: Allow the Grieving Process to happen

There’s a huge pressure, especially in this swiping day and age where you can get laid on your lunch break, to get over a break up by quickly getting under someone else. Whilst this method totally works for some people, it definitely doesn’t make the break up hurt any less, or the nights alone feel any less lonely.  And, you know what? That feeling of loneliness is more than okay, let it happen! Breaking up with someone is a grieving process and, quite often, if you try to stop that process from happening, it can take you so much longer to move on in the long term.

Tip 2: Move at your own pace

How often have you stalked your ex after a break up, checking to see if they’re with someone else yet? Yeah, us too.  It’s normal! But don’t forget to move at your own pace and only do what feels right to you. Your ex and their behaviour is not your concern anymore, so focus all that energy on yourself.  Treat yourself to a spa day, do all of the things that your ex wasn’t keen on, and try to have an exciting (or dare we say it, flirty) conversation with someone new every day.  Learning that other people still find you attractive and interesting is a big factor in moving on, especially if you’ve been with your ex for a long time.

Tip 3:  Look after yourself

When we feel down, it can be all too easy to slip into a slumber of not caring for our minds and bodies. We all have a habit when we feel sad, whether it’s sitting in our pjs and not showering for a couple of days, eating ten times more of our favourite food than we should do, or crying to our mum down the phone on a daily basis (or, let’s face it, all three!) Try your best to keep getting up and showing up, whatever you feel the world is throwing at you through your break up.  Use the time that you would have spent with your ex by starting up a new hobby, rekindling friendships that you might have neglected when you were in a relationship, or getting back to grips with all the amazingggg sex toys that are out there now. They call it self care for a reason 😉

So, whether you decide to get over by getting under, or practice self care rather than swiping, remember to take care through a break up and ensure that you’re happy with the person you’ve really got to be with for the rest of your life: yourself!

Join us on Instagram @UndressingDisability and on twitter @ETUKUndressing. Learn more about sex and disability by purchasing our ‘Undressing Disability’ ebook priced at £5.99 All proceeds go to support our charity.