For those of us who are disabled, penetration isn’t always possible, comfortable or even desired… but it also isn’t everything. Whilst penetrative sex is seen as the be all and end all by mainstream society, we are here to tell you that there are ways to be sensual and sexual without it and, trust us, they can be just as pleasurable, too! If you worry about how to satisfy, or be satisfied, without conventional intercourse, please read on.
Tip 1: Conquer foreplay
Want to please without penetration? Learn how to conquer foreplay. Let’s be honest, it’s how many of us get off best anyway! Learn how your partner responds to touching and oral sex, does their body tense or quiver at certain movements, and want can you do to make them ask for more? If you feel unsure of how to best navigate their body and pleasure points, ask them to feedback to you on what feels good and really gets them going; you’ll be a pro in no time!
Tip 2: Communication is sexy
Sometimes, it’s not what we do that gets our partners off, but what we say. If that’s the case for the person you’re getting under the covers with, make sure to vocalise during those intimate moments. You might let them know what you love about their body, what about them turns you on, or how good you feel when you’re with them. So whether you’re giving specific details of what you’d like them to do to you, or describing at length what you’d like to do to them, communication really can be sexy, and penetration doesn’t have to be involved once!
Tip 3: Fantasise to the finish line
Discussing fantasies (or thinking of them yourself during solo play or sex) can be another great way of pleasuring yourself, penetration-free. If they are fantasies that you are comfortable sharing with your partner, sexy conversations around them can also be a great way of getting to know each other and your likes and dislikes in a more intimate way. Who knows, they might even be fantasies you decide to act on later, too!
Penetration will always be a big player in the sexual dictionary, but it really isn’t everything. We hope this article has given you a little more confidence, and even a few hints and tips to take back to the bedroom…
Join us on Instagram @UndressingDisability and on twitter @ETUKUndressing.
Learn more about sex and disability by purchasing our ‘Undressing Disability’ ebook priced at £5.99. All proceeds go to support our charity.