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June 2020

Disabled Parenting podcast with Fran Hamilton and Enhance The UK

Disabled Parenting – A podcast with Fran Hamilton

By Disability, Undressing Disability

Fran Hamilton is a woman who loves a challenge, and has an infectious cackle to make anyone smile. 7 years ago, when her daughter was only 8 months old, Fran became a one-armed mum after a nasty motorbike accident. In this podcast with Emily Yates of Enhance The UK, Fran shares her hints, tips and hacks on disabled parenting and tells a good few stories, too!

‘It’s a different journey from everyone else but it’s YOUR journey. Never give up. You have to believe in yourself and make it happen.’

Fran explains how she coped adapting to becoming disabled as a new mum. Sharing tricks for fastening nappies and steering prams when you’ve only got one arm, to dealing with other peoples questions.

Disabled Parenting - Fran with her daughter Lily

Disabled parenting is a taboo subject. With a society that still sees disability as less than desirable, many of us are viewed as incapable of having and looking after children. Fran explains her capabilities as a disabled mum, and her hilarious anecdotes prove that anything is possible – finding a solution just might be a little tougher, or take a little longer.

‘One time in the play park, a dad was staring. He nudged the mum and she stared too, then their child joined it. I’d taught my daughter that wasn’t the right way to behave so when she saw them she shouted “It’s rude to stare you know!” I’m very proud of her.’

‘Don’t always pretend you’re okay. I’m really rubbish at asking for help and get myself stressed out. Remember that it’s okay to not be okay.’

Huge thanks to Fran for joining us in this podcast. Keep up to date with all our interviews, articles and more by joining us on twitter @ETUKUndressing and Instagram @UndressingDisability.

 

Ted Shirres smiling

Disability And Intimacy – a musical tale.

By Disability, Sex & disability, The Love Lounge

Ted joins the Love Lounge team.

Ted recently joined our Love Lounge team and will be answering your questions in his own unique way. With his fair share of relationship ups and downs he’s got plenty of experience of dating as a disabled person. Ted promises to be straight talking and considerate in helping to solve your dating, relationship, and disability and intimacy dilemmas. The following article is

A Musical Tale

I thought I’d start with an analogy for disability and intimacy that I’m pretty sure only I could come up with. You see I’m a rather obsessive fan of the musician Neil Young, to the point my girlfriend refers to him as my boyfriend.  The few willing to indulge me in my musical obsession know there’s one ‘act’ I prefer: Neil Young & Crazy Horse. Yes, that’s right, they are to be referred to as one band. Neil and the three others will refer to themselves as ‘in the band Neil Young & Crazy Horse’. Two have become one – to quote a song I obviously have no time for.

Pure Magic

So I bet you guess I think they’re all wonderful musicians? Well, erm no. Neil just plays guitar in his very unique yet messy style, and the three others are very primitive to say the least. The bass-player seldom manages more than the route note of the chord whilst the drummer has a somewhat restricted range of tempos. And the rhythm guitarist appears to leave the main rhythm to Neil and then copy him when he’s off on a solo. That’s why Bob Dylan once asked Neil why he plays with those “f***in’ idiots”. Having said all that, when Neil gets with these guys it is pure magic. Something just clicks. I always love his guitar playing but it reaches a special grade of awesomeness when he’s with these guys.

Chemistry Counts

And frankly, that is what disability and intimacy is all about. Yeah technique and skill are great things, but when there’s a click and tonnes of chemistry these things seem superfluous. As a disabled person seeking to be intimate, or indeed a non-disabled person seeking to be intimate with a disabled person, you may occasionally ponder how the restricted movement won’t restrict the quality of the sex. However, as I remember every time I listen to my favourite group, if the chemistry is perfect between the two, the end-product will be too!

Can we help?

Got a question for Ted or our Love Lounge non expert sexperts? Get in touch.

Discover more about sex and disability with our free resources or buy our Undressing Disability e-book priced at £5.99. All proceeds go to our charity.

Join us on Instagram and twitter #UndressingDisability #LoveLoungeUK.

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