Love Lounge – When should I offer my help if I think she’s struggling?

Dating over coffee

Hi Love Lounge,

I’ve been on a few dates with a girl I really like. She’s in a wheelchair (doesn’t bother me at all!) but I’ve never experienced dating a disabled person before. When should I jump in and help if she looks like she’s struggling? And is there anything I need to know on the sex side of things?

Thanks

A

 


 

Hey!

Thanks for writing in to us and congrats on finding someone you’re really into 🙂

Sounds like now you want to know a little more about this person than the often superficial topics that are covered on the first couple of dates. This is probably not the answer you want, but it’s the only answer we can really give. You’re going to have to sit down with this girl and….ask her!

I know that this can seem incredibly daunting, especially when both disability and sex are pretty intimate topics, but I can almost guarantee, even having never met this girl, that she would much prefer that you ask and put your mind at ease rather than go into ‘panic mode’ every time you see her or step into the bedroom. If you don’t want to make a big deal out of it, next time you’re both going for drinks together and there’s an obstacle, just say something like ‘I’m here if you need me, just let me know if you’d like me to help.’ That way, she knows that you’re not afraid to help, and you can be comfortable in following her lead. The same goes for the bedroom, simply ask if there’s anything that needs to be done differently, and assure her that you’re cool with that!

Sounds like this is the start of something great, so sending all our best wishes!

Em X

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