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This is our page for all things free and sexy. You’ll find all our accessible PDF guides, articles, free support and our very own online magazine here

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#UndressingDisability: Sex Ed for Teenagers

At Enhance The UK, we believe more conversations around sex & disability need to be started. We’re not shy, we’ll discuss just about anything!

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Frequently UNASKED Questions!

On the contrary, there’s many Frequently Unasked Questions about disability! People are often afraid to ask questions and worry about how to treat disabled people to avoid offending.

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Your Sex Questions Answered

We receive a lot of curious questions from people with and without disabilities about sex. Here’s some of the most commonly asked questions.

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Liability is an online monthly magazine published by us. It’s written by a group of women who all have disabilities and are not afraid to talk about them. They have a lot to say each month and topics covered range from sex and relationships to current affairs, politics and fashion. There really is something for everyone!

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Recent Blogs

There’s helpful information, questions and articles on our blog too…

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Seeking a Sex Worker Service

By The Love Lounge

The Question


I have a high functioning autistic spectrum disorder and want to seek a sex worker to feel more comfortable around women.  I’d like to use a service that has people confident working with disabled people.  Who do you recommend?

Also, I don’t know how it works as I’m new to this – should I be transparent about my ASD?

Thank you,

The Answer

Hi Matt,
Unfortunately we don’t have information on specific sex workers.  However, if you contact SHADA they may be able to help you more!
Sex and Disability Helpline +44(0) 7900 957 393 11am-7pm weekdays.
I think honesty is always the best policy. Particularly as you’re paying for a service so you want the best experience for yourself.  If you were going on a dating site, there’s the whole debate around whether you disclose your disability or impairment straight away… but seeing as you’re seeking a sex worker who needs to be suitable for you, then I think it’s best they know your access requirements.  And also be clear about what kind of experience you want – you don’t just have to be grateful that they are providing you with sex and they’re ok with your ASD.  Think about what pleasures you like and see what they are happy to offer you.
I hope you hear back from them. And ultimately hope you have a great time!
Take care,
The Love Lounge Team


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Everyone who writes into our Love Lounge receives an email with a private answer to their question. We then anonymise the Q&A and share them here on our website to help others who may be struggling with the same concern.  Get in touch if you’d like some advice.

Keep up to date with all our Love Lounge articles by following us on Instagram @UndressingDisability or on twitter @ETUKUndressing.

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Defy Society’s Expectations: A Guide to Overcoming the Challenges of Building Body Confidence

By Sex & disability, Undressing Disability

TW Eating Disorder, Abuse, Ableism


Society is a high maintenance significant other, it’s not shy about placing impossible expectations on disabled people when it comes to how we should feel about our bodies. However, it is possible to defy these preconceived notions and build your own body confidence from the ground up. Today, I would like to share my personal journey of overcoming the distinct challenges that accompany living with a disability, all while striving for body neutrality and positivity. Additionally, I proudly identify as queer and non-binary, to add a bit of extra spice to the mix. I will also provide tips and resources for you, dear reader, if you’re looking to do the same, so that you can begin to reclaim your self worth and be truly confident in your own skin.

The Before: A Portrait of Misplace Worth

Let me start from the beginning. Before my disability, my worth seemed tied to unhealthy measures. How I looked mattered more than it should have, but given my history of traumatic  rejection and a life full of drama, it’s not surprising. I controlled my outward appearance because I couldn’t control my pain. The only thing I seemed to have control over was what I ate, or rather, what I didn’t. And it worked, to some extent. I stumbled through life in a blind haze, just trying to survive without many skills beyond that. I pretended everything was fine, until it wasn’t. When I became disabled, the inability to exercise and a slew of medications quickly changed my physical appearance. This was not ideal for someone who believed they had to look a certain way to be worthy of love. And so, I tried to ignore this uncomfortable new reality, plastering on smiles whenever someone asked, “how are you?”

The Turning Point: When Old Coping Strategies Fail

Then came the day when all my control tactics failed and my coping strategies went out the  window. I was left completely helpless. Let’s summarise this section of my life as the “dark and twisty time” aptly named by Meredith Grey. I found myself an empty shell, curled on the floor in the shadows of my bedroom. All the ways to find my self-worth vanished with my mobility, replaced by ableist views and a body that refused to look recognisable in the mirror.

Emerging into Light: Choosing A Path of Self-Love

Eventually, there came a time, an end to that darkness. At the fork in the road, I chose to fill the void with things that shaped my self-worth from a foundation of love and belief in myself. I realised I deserved to be happy and would be okay, just as I am, without the need for change or approval from others. I discovered the disabled community and started connecting with people who shared similar experiences. It was a revelation to realise that I wasn’t the issue; it was the world around me. What an incredible day, dear reader!

Uncharted Territory: Embracing the New Disabled Me

Society expects disabled individuals to conform, but I realised I didn’t fit that mould. I wanted to be bold, proud, and shiny! I didn’t want to fade into the background. And the best part? There were no “society police” to hold me back. It felt like discovering the power to fly! The joy and freedom were exhilarating. It was time to embrace the fun!

A Critical Eye: Society’s Obsession with “Self-improvement”

Over the last 5 years as a full-time wheelchair user, I’ve had fun times and faced struggles. But it  can be hard to embrace a changed body when society tells us to “fix” what we don’t like. What if we don’t want to, what if we can’t? Why are we always judged? The critical eye surrounds us, from screens to magazines. I say, it’s time to change our mindset, not our bodies.

The Struggle for Independence: A Lesson in Acceptance

Losing mobility or health can result in a loss of independence, which was personally one of the toughest challenges for me to overcome. I used to hate asking for help. I saw it as a sign of  weakness but I’ve grown a lot in the last 5 years. Now I see accepting help as what it is, a simple division of labour. They help me, I’ll do something else another time. Maybe. Maybe I won’t but it doesn’t really matter, it evens out in the end. Coming to terms with this can be difficult, there may be ways to regain independence or maybe not. Take a moment, reflect on what truly matters. It could be a transformative time of self-discovery and growth. Remember that empty shell? Perhaps this is an opportunity to build something from the ground up, a chance to turn towards

Beyond Media Stereotypes of Disability: The Beautiful Truth

While there has been improvement, the portrayal of disabled bodies in the media still falls short. We come in all shapes and sizes, beautifully unique. If all anyone sees is a watered-down version, it can be challenging to see your own beauty.

Battling Bias: Rising Above Society’s Views

But it’s a harmful lie. Our magnificent variations make us all beautiful. The curve of a body, our movement or stillness, our quiet – all so very beautiful. If all mountain ranges looked the same, why would we travel? If all trees had the same shape, who would meditate in a forest? Nature creates everything uniquely, fostering diversity and making the world more beautiful. My heart aches for those who feel unworthy or unloved. Anger fuels my ongoing fight against an unaccepting society, and I’m far from finished.

Helpful Hints: Building Connection with Your True Self

Discovering your true self and embracing your disabled body can be challenging in a society that ignores our needs. Here are some tips to help you connect, accept and respect your body.

  • Find your people! When I joined the disability community online it was an absolute turning point. You need people who’ll support you without the need for explanation. Those are your people. Nurture those friendships and get a good network of professionals while you’re at it, a good doctor is a wondrous thing!
  • Be kind to yourself. How often have you spoken harsh words to your reflection? Your brain hears and believes you! Instead be compassionate and gentle. It matters.
  • If you want to set goals, make them realistic. Move towards your goal with kindness, rather than with judgment. Look for guidance in line with your new beliefs. Strive for self-neutrality when self-love feels inadequate, as it could lead you to your ultimate destination.
  • Remember, as an incredible disabled person, you are more than just that. Your personality has many facets, and you possess lots of skills and abilities unrelated to your disability. These aspects will provide perspective, especially if you feel overwhelmed by your new disabled body.

The Danger of Looking Back: Avoiding the Nostalgia Trap

Don’t spend all your time looking backwards. It’s not just bad for your neck, but also harmful to  your mental health! Focusing only on what was and no longer is prevents you from being all you can be and appreciating beauty in the now. While it’s fine to reminisce, remember that we often sugar coat the past. The key to happiness really starts with accepting our reality.

Body Confidence: A Journey, Not a Destination

Building a new relationship with your body takes time, effort, and dedication. Just like any other relationship, it requires respect and love. It becomes even more challenging when dealing with disability or chronic illness. So, be kind to yourself if you find this aspect of your life difficult. Progress may not always be linear, but we’ve all been thrown back to square one and will be again. When we quite literally don’t fit into society – in marketing, in governmental decisions, literally in buildings, it’s no wonder we find it hard to feel confident and stand up for ourselves. We are being told we don’t matter every single day – from when we are trying to buy a pint of milk through to who’s last in line for life saving medical services.

Your Toolkit: Strategies for Building Body Confidence

But the fact is we do matter, our bodies are beautifully valid just as much as the next person’s – disabled or not.
Some ways you can look to build your arsenal of strength towards your body confidence journey are:

  • Curate your social media feeds. You’re in charge here. Remove accounts that make you feel bad and keep those that make you feel good. Surround yourself with accounts that inspire and align with the life you’ve chosen. This is a powerful tool at your disposal, and you’re in control!
  • Look for support through therapy. It acts as a gym for your heart, mind, and soul, requiring regular workouts to keep healthy.
  • Don’t underestimate the power of a good group of friends. Talk to them!
  • Look up support from organisations such as,, and of course there’s all the community and resources available at the Undressing Disability Hub.

The Final Word: We Matter

Here’s the bottom line, dear reader, each of our bodies is beautifully unique and wonderfully diverse, not confined to the limitations of a cookie-cutter shape, and society might have a bit of a problem with that, but we don’t. Because our bodies carry us through life, they endure, they persevere. They’re a testament to our strength and resilience – we might not have wanted it but that’s what we got. We ARE strong and resilient, we ARE spectacularly diverse and that’s worth more than fitting into some cookie-cutter mould. So next time you hear yourself speak sharply to your reflection, or find you spend too much time reminiscing and end up feeling resentful of your present situation, pause. Take a deep breath. And remind yourself that you matter, your body matters, and it’s long overdue for the world to recognise that.
And maybe, just maybe you’re one to help change things – one small act of self love at a time.

Sandie Roberts, Disability Advocate, Content Creator, Writer & PT Model

photograph of a cobble street with autumn leaves on the floor. There is a bright red heart placed on the ground.

Unrequited Love

By Sex & disability, Undressing Disability

Jennie Williamson, our CEO, and Charlotte Faragher recently went live on our instagram to discuss unrequited love. Charlotte has written a poem about unrequited love as a disabled person which is written in full below. If you want to listen/watch our Jennie and Charlotte’s discussion head over to our instagram and watch their livestream on our profile!

Not What You Need

by Charlotte Faragher

I stand here broken, dejected, alone,
I thought I’d finally found a person to call my own.
I truly put my heart on the line,

Yet now I feel a heartbreak so very hard to define.

When we first met it felt different, unique.
Yet now my soul is impossibly bleak.
I felt it all the trust, the lust, the pain,

Resounding, compounding in my head like an endless refrain.
Part of me believed we were of the same accord,
Yet I fell hopelessly, irretrievably in love with none of the reward.

If only my body were more agile,

Perhaps you would have been more inclined to hold me a while.

If only my body had been created stronger,
Perhaps you would tell me a problem and feel sad no longer.

I hate how my CP gets in the way
Of many an activity both night and day
Going from nightclub A to nightclub B

Is something of an obstacle course when you are with me

I sometimes wonder when friends show care
If they would really rather, I wasn’t there
This all-consuming irritation

Is emblematic of the instant gratification generation.
Where we seek pleasure in the quickest time
Anyone who hinders this is out of line.

I hate how long simple tasks take

Fun evenings out can seem something of a ball ache.
I wonder if I’m the blunder, stopping people having fun
Like that one rainy grey cloud eclipsing the sun.

I also muse if I’m a massive interference to those that raised me – aka my parents

Yet they’ve never outwardly berated or complained
Doing their best to ensure the happiest of homes is maintained.

Yet I’m sure I’ve caused them much strife
By the restrictions I have placed on their life.

I’ve always hated my disability and how it makes me stand out
Yet, you saw the person beyond the chair, what I was truly about
You boldly stepped up, were a true friend, did not treat me like a flower.

And it’s because of this that I so desperately wish
Our hilarious excursions, our vulnerable heart to hearts

Lasted forever not mere hours.

Personable, passionate, hilarious, arty
Gentle yet fun-loving the life of the party .
I did dream of you at night in bed

It’s hard to believe you’re not some fairy tale prince I’ve made up in my head.

I often question how it has not unfurled

That everyone does not adore you along with the Hemsworth’s,

Elba’s and Effron’s of the world.
Nevertheless, you have a girl on your arm
And I remain in a sorrowful balm.

I’ve never met the girl who won your heart
She’s probably just like you; attractive, astute, resolute

in being kind to others and into art.
She’s probably someone I’d love to befriend
even though I love you too this isn’t like some romcom where
the beautiful girl with an ugly heart is exposed by movies end.

I tried to suppress my feelings at first, I thought it wasn’t worth believing,

and yet I soon realized that I couldn’t not be in love
any more than one can stop breathing.

What I was feeling was childlike fodder, the stuff of fairy tales from long ago,
nonsensical word vomit, sweaty palms, but then loves raw and unyielding

confusion hit me like a blow.

I was definitely in love wished we could be like ties that bind
Sometimes you nearly drive me out of my mind.
What I wouldn’t give to have you hold me in your arms

To have you really look at me and have it resonate that you have zero qualms

About my body and me exactly as they are.

To have you hold me, talk with me, love me, caress me and adore me

Until we see the morning’s first star.
But you clearly don’t view me that way
It makes my heart feel deathly cold
Why won’t you love the way I want
Be courageous in your feelings, be bold
Why is it taking everything I have not to kiss you?
If you thought the same this would not be an issue.
Yet you still see me as just a dear friend.
Sometimes these feelings get so messy

The noise is so loud I struggle to comprehend.

Life as it is all I want is you,
Yet even if it only took a fraction of time
to carry out my most desired actions,
It would devastate your girlfriend too.
I’m not a home wrecker can’t let three lives implode
So, though this is the hardest thing my heart can bear.

We have to say to goodbye forever
Go down our separate roads.

It’s clear your lover is good
She has the best intentions at heart

And I need to learn to love my body and self so much more
Quieten negative voices and make a fresh start.
Just because we didn’t pan out
Does not mean I wouldn’t be a perfect match
For one of the 7 billion people in the world
The right guy will realize that I am quite the catch
And I will be able to hold him up too

Just as she is a confident cheerleader, supporter to you
I hope to God, she never deliberately hurts you, takes you for granted
Endlessly appreciates, celebrates the astonishing gift of the man

she has been handed.

So now as I stand here forever changed by you
Internally my heart continues to bleed
I try not to cry but whisper “good bye”
I’m sorry I’m not what you need

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