Jáde is a 20-year-old, third-year undergrad student, living away from home for the first time. We asked Jáde about some of her experiences as a person with Cerebral Palsy.
When did you become aware that some people treat you differently, and have your coping mechanisms changed over time?
The first time I noticed people treating me differently because of my disability I was around 8 or 9. At that time, I used a walking frame to help me balance. One of my friends didn’t invite me to their birthday party because their parent said “Jáde’s frame is too big for our house! She won’t be able to fit in!” This upset my mum and I. I just wanted to be ‘normal’. From then on, I always knew I was different from others my age.
I didn’t use to talk to anyone about how I felt. I was afraid people would think I was just being silly. Now, although I still struggle with telling people how I feel, I do talk to my friends about my disability. They may not always understand, but they are always there to help me cope.
Was your choice of university influenced by its support for students with disabilities?
My university choice was strongly influenced by the accommodation available for students who require adapted rooms.
In some respects, I do feel that the university prioritises the needs of those with disabilities. In my second year, I was invited to an interview for an on-campus job, which was only open to students with disabilities. As only disabled students could apply, I felt I had more of a chance, as I wouldn’t be competing against non-disabled students. I did get the role, and I am proud to be able to advocate for other disabled students and to have a say in decisions about policies and accessibility on campus.
In other respects, I think there is more the university could do to improve societies and sports facilities to make them more accessible to disabled students. Also, some of the older parts of the campus are very difficult, and in some cases impossible, for someone in a wheelchair to navigate. One building has a lift, but it requires a 10-minute journey round to the opposite side to get to it!
Has your disability impacted dating?
I think so, yes. Some people automatically assume that I am not competent, and they can be put off by my wheelchair (I have actually been told that!)
I think it comes from a lack of knowledge and understanding, though.
What impact, if any, do you find your disability has on relationships?
In the past, I have been excluded from plans my friends make because they say the venues are not accessible. I find myself worrying that they use accessibility as an excuse – maybe they don’t like me, or they don’t want the inconvenience of having to deal with my wheelchair. This results in my isolating myself and not speaking to people. It’s hard to be outgoing and start new friendships when I’m worried that my wheelchair is seen as a problem.
This year, you took your first solo holiday abroad. Can you tell us about any challenges you faced, and would you do it again?
I was shocked that I didn’t face any unexpected challenges! It went really well, and I would 100% do it again. I am currently planning my next one!
What are some of the ways people can be supportive and inclusive of people with CP?
If you meet someone with Cerebral Palsy, ensure that you plan activities and locations that are accessible to them – whether this is for wheelchairs, sight or hearing impairments. Nobody likes to be excluded, and it’s embarrassing to feel like an inconvenience and a burden.
Treat a person with CP the same way you would treat a person who does not have CP. They really are no different.
Interested in reading more stories and experiences from disabled people? Head to our blog page to find more.