Finding the confidence to date again

The word Confidence in a dictionary highlighted in green marker pen

The Question

Hi there,

My question is about rebuilding confidence. I have a spinal cord injury and am a wheelchair user.  Before lockdown, I was quite used to going out on dates (and it didn’t really matter whether I got a second one or not, I just loved the excitement of meeting people!) But now I’m starting to feel like I’m out of practice after months inside, and that I’m going to run out of time to find someone special.  How can I regain my confidence and stop feeling the pressure?

Thanks

Our Answer

Hi K,

Thanks so much for writing to us. It’s great to hear that you found confidence and comfort in dating as it means you can do it again! Lockdown has been a really strange and difficult time for many of us. I don’t know one person that hasn’t been affected either in some physical way, or mentally, by this.

And when we’re stuck inside, with so much time to think and feel lonely, it’s almost impossible not to feel like life is passing us. But I promise you that time is moving at exactly the same rate as it did before, we’ve sadly just not been able to enjoy it in the same way!

So, I’d recommend using the remainder of this time inside to think positively about what you’d like to achieve over the next 1, 3, 5 or even 10 years. You might want to write things down, or even create a vision board of your wants and needs. There’s not much that we have control over right now, but we can control our thoughts and desires, and what we do with them. If it is a relationship that’s a priority for you, why not ease yourself back in slowly and see if there’s an online dating event that you could get involved with? Funnily enough, we are running one soon… https://www.eventbrite.co.uk/e/virtual-speed-dating-with-enhance-the-uk-tickets-121709138309

That way, your confidence will start building again, and you’ll feel more in control by taking action, and the pressure will hopefully subside.

Wishing you luck, let us know how you get on!
Em x

 

You may also find these article useful.

Online Dating – Is it worth it? 

Online Dating As A Disabled Person

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