Whilst living at Arnold House, Leonard Cheshire Home, I became engaged to another Service User called Robert.
Obviously we were both disabled using wheelchairs but we wanted to be like other couples and have a good relationship involving sexual play. This proved harder than you think because we couldn’t have time together during the day as everyone was around and so couldn’t do anything. Therefore the only time we could be together was when I was in bed and and wait for Rob to come in. We couldn’t do anything until the drinks came in though, as it could have been awkward.
On one occasion we were playing and a carer didn’t knock on the door and just burst in, this made us both feel embarrassed and it just put us off doing anything. After that incident we found a way by asking the carers not to come into the room until 11pm when Rob went back to his room.
I wished we could have had more chances to play but alas it was not practical. What we did together was lovely and it made me feel like a normal couple really in love with each other and clearly sexually active. This is not true of all homes but I feel if people are in love they should be helped to lead a proper friendship without any problems or embarrassments.
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I know I couple who live in a care home and thy have now been married for 2 years. They live in a bungerlow but sleep in seperste room because they were told there was no point in social services paying for two rooms and only one of them was beeing used. I think this is so wrong there must be a way round this problem surly!