The Love Lounge

Free advice on all things sex, love and disability

Feeling alone and need to talk to someone? Looking for down to earth advice or need some practical tips on sex, relationships and flirting? Please talk to our resident love and sexperts! Everybody wants to feel that they ‘belong’ and finding a sense of belonging with another person is very important to so many of us. Yet finding a ‘soul mate,’ for many people, is not so simple especially when you have a disability.

Sex and Disability

Even if you’re in an established relationship, all sorts of tensions and difficulties can crop up. It’s especially hard if one of you becomes chronically sick, disabled or has an impairment which changes. It can then become not only something you both need to get your head round, but could mean your partner now has to assist you in different ways and offer you ‘care’ in a way they haven’t done before.

The dynamic of your relationship could change. Sex might become physically or emotionally difficult. Or you may end up feeling like you’re living with your best friend and that sex is off the menu all together. Maybe you’re single and want to date, have fun, find the person of your dreams? Or you want to play the field but are scared of ending up feeling like a novelty shag. Where do you look for a partner? How do you approach intimacy? When do you mention an impairment or disability?

Living in a care home and maintaining or even establishing a relationship is no easy feat. Lack of information, attitudes, privacy and access are massive barriers. After all, how many double beds have you ever seen in a care home?

Get to know your love gurus!

Emily Yates

Emily manages the Undressing disability campaign. She is also an accessible travel writer and accessibility consultant. She has cerebral palsy, uses a wheelchair, and has had relationships with both able-bodied and disabled partners.

Katherine Sellors

Katherine Sellors is a newly qualified occupational therapist. She is passionate about all aspects of sex, sexuality and Occupational Therapy input. Especially regarding those with disabilities and enabling them to engage in sexual expression in the same manner as someone without a disability.

Ted Shiress

Ted Shiress is and has been many things to many people and has partially succeeded in at least some of them. As a guy with Cerebral Palsy in his thirties he has definitely had his fair share of lessons, and he is here to let his unique take on life guide his answers to your Love Lounge queries!

Mik looking directly into the camera, with red spikey hair and a coloured grid pattern behind him

Mik Scarlet

Mik is a big personality in the media world, representing disability in his own unique way. He has presented shows on BBC2, Channel 4, ITV, Total Rock Radio and BBC 3 Counties Radio.

Andrew Gurza

Andrew Gurza is an award winning Disability Awareness Consultant and Accessibility Awareness Specialist. He was the subject of a National Film Board of Canada Documentary “Picture This”. Andrew has guested on a number of podcasts as well as hosting his own, Disability After Dark: The Podcast Shining a Bright Light on Sex and Disability. He has spoken all over the world on sex, disability and what it means to be a Queer Cripple as well as creating the viral hastag #DisabledPeopleAreHot

Zoe Lloyd

Zoe became a wheelchair user 21 years ago when she became very ill with Rheumatoid Arthritis. Despite being a very positive, happy go lucky person, she had crises of confidence and identity issues about not being the fit active sporty person she once was. This led her into therapy and after seeing the positive transition in herself, she decided to become a counsellor.

Damian Weatherald

Damian has the somewhat ‘invisible’ condition of Ehlers Danlos Syndrome (and a number of associated conditions).

He has over 15 years experience in the sex toy industry, a love of live (and loud) music and has been with his non-disabled wife for over 20 years.

Regarding your question about losing sensation in your genitals, I should first ask have you…

Enhance the UK

The Love Lounge

Free advice on all things sex, love and disability

Sex and Disability