Can I inject any fun back into our marriage?

“Since having a motor-cycle accident over a year ago where I lost the use of both my legs, my wife has been my full time carer. Our relationship has been put through the ultimate test, but now I want things to go back to how the used to be. Will our bond be able to remain the same? Can I inject any fun back into our marriage?”

Seenan, Torquay
Brittany’s advice…
This is a problem close to my heart, especially at the minute as I am unwell and my wonderful wife is caring for me too. It’s great that you see that this whole period of your lives has been a test that your relationship has passed, and that it’s time to get that spark back as it really shows how well you are both coping with your new impairment.

It’s testament to what a strong relationship you have. I know that it’s always at the back of your mind, whether this new dynamic of lover/carer will put too much strain on your relationship as I’ve been there. But I expect it’s much more a worry for you than your wife. I think if you communicate openly about any worries or issues you can actually build an even stronger bond than you had before your accident.

How to put the fun back into your marriage? Well I’m a big fan of role play. So why not have your wife dress up as a sexy nurse when she’s doing the caring. or a sexy maid? You’ve already got a load of biker gear, so no worries about you dressing up either eh? It’s really a case of whatever floats your boat.

If you find your impairment impacts on your sexual function you might want to read a few articles I have online on subject. These two on the website Ask Miss Alice cover the issue with a few ideas on bringing and maintaining sex after disability – www.missalicegray.com – part 1 and www.missalicegray.com – part 2.

This one for the website Disability Horizons explores a technique for creating orgasmic zones all over your body, which can be a real help if you loose sensation due to an impairment but can also be fun for anyone disabled or not – www.disabilityhorizons.com

My last bit of advice is to go out and find out how great life can be as a wheelchair user. I found that once I learned that I could do anything from my wheels I grew in confidence and that made me sexy. Your wife cares for you because she loves you and together you can rebuild your lives to make your love stronger, better and much sexier.

For one thing you can now have sex in every room of your house without stopping. Sex on Wheels… nothing like it!

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