The wonderful world of dating bios: acronyms to emoji

What does that even mean?!

When it comes to dating apps, it can often feel like it’s another world on there, especially when it comes to language. No sooner do you learn your DTR from your GGG than it’s time to understand what ONS means.

As tempting as it can feel to nod and smile when it comes to admitting you aren’t sure what the dating acronyms mean, it can make a difference to consent. After all, you cannot consent if you don’t understand the fine print of what you are signing up for.

Dating acronyms and terminology

DTR

Define the relationship: If you have been dating someone for a while but are unsure what your status might be. This usually denotes needing to have a conversation to determine if dating, friends with benefits or in a relationship.

PDA

Public displays of affection: This usually means a kiss or a hug in public. Some people may like this while others don’t. It’s usually a conversation to establish what your new significant other may think about being publicly affectionate. Don’t assume because you are fine with it that everyone else is.

BI

Bisexual: a person who likes both men and women.

DTF

Down to fuck: A person who is happy to get down to sex straight away so they may prefer to not have a date first.

F2M

Female to male transgender person.

M2F

A male-to-female transgender person

NB / Enby

Non-Binary: A person who does not feel their gender fits into male or female categories. They may use alternative pronouns, so it is considered polite to ask and to use what they tell you they feel comfortable with. Some NB people do not consider themselves transgender while others will. Don’t assume!

FWB

Friends with benefits: Someone who is both a friend and someone you have sex with. Both parties are fine with having no romantic interest in each other but are happy to make the relationship a bit more than just mates.

GSOH

Good sense of humour: a classic but still used online to denote that someone is looking for someone funny.

MBA

Married but available: This is a complicated one as it could mean that someone is practising polyamory, or it could mean that someone is using the apps to cheat. Either way, it’s worth a conversation to see where your boundaries are and what the situation is.

MSM

Man-seeking men: gay, bisexual or pansexual men seeking other men. It may also mean someone is curious and wants to try having sex with a man.

NMNK

Never married no kids: Kids and previous marriages can be a deal breaker to some people. While you may still be married or practising ENM (ethical non-monogamy) it never hurts to let potential dates know what your status is. They can then make an informed decision if they want to date someone with or without children.

IRL

In real life: This is more relevant now post-COVID! It means to go on an in-person date in a real venue – offline.

STR

Straight: A person who is only interested in the opposite sex.

D&D

Dungeons and Dragons: This is a role-playing board game that people get really into! People often play frequently so advertising your involvement could be a great way to meet others.

F2F

Face to face: This means an IRL (see above!) meeting that takes place in person.

SO

Significant other: The other person in a relationship

ONS

One-night stand: This refers to having sex with someone and then not making plans to see them again.

LDR

Long distance relationship: Thanks to apps we can often swipe left on someone who is in another city or set our searches far and wide to find someone new.

DM

Direct Messaging: This is the function on the app that allows for private messages that can only be viewed between you and the intended person/s. It cannot be viewed by anyone else unless you opt to add them in.

(Related: Slide into the DMS: This means taking your messaging to the next level by switching from public replies to private messages often with the intention to be flirty or express an interest in someone)

NRE

New relationship energy: This is that burst of energy and dopamine that you get from the early stages of a new dating situation.

ENM

Ethically Non-Monogamous: This relates to people who practise consensual multi-dating with more than one partner. Having this on your profile communicates that you are either in a relationship with someone who knows you are on the app, or you are open to dating more than one person. The ethical part of ENM means that you have had a conversation with all parties involved and that everyone is okay with not being the sole partner involved. It is good to practise to let someone know as early as possible if you are non-monogamous.

ISO

In search of: This is usually followed by a list of the qualities that someone is looking for in a partner.

GGGS

Good, Giving and Game: This usually means a person is open to doing what they can to please a partner in the bedroom.

BAE

Before all others: Made popular through Instagram, BAE usually means your significant other. This doesn’t have to mean a relationship though as sometimes people use this to refer to their bestie.

MILF

Mother I’d like to fuck: A good-looking person who is also a mother.

DILF

Dad I’d like to fuck: A good-looking person who is also a dad

NSA

No Strings Attached: Sex without commitment. This usually means there is an expectation from both parties that there will be no dating or relationships before or after sex.

HAGS

Hugs and Kisses: Literally exactly what it says! It can often be written as H&K too.

VBD

Very bad date: You probably shouldn’t send this to the person you’ve been on a date with! This means the date was or is going badly and you need a ‘get out of there’ text or call. In order to be safe, always let someone know where you are and if you need a way to escape if a date is not going well.

Terminology

It’s not just the acronyms that people use on the apps. In case you weren’t already confused, there are a series of terms that people use to describe what is happening in their dating lives. How many do you know?

Beige flag

Behaviour that is regarded as boring or casual when it comes to dating. This could be behaviour, discussion topics or interests that you don’t share with someone. It usually means that you are not compatible.

Red flag

Behaviour that is considered cause for concern. This could be that someone has said or done something that can be taken as offensive. In extreme cases, it means someone’s behaviour is violent or abusive.

Green flag

The positive behaviour or characteristics of a person you are on a date with.

Bots

Bots are artificially intelligent programmed chatbots who are designed to answer messages and sound as human as possible.

Bad Pancake

The first person you date after a serious break-up normally before you are ready to date again. The idea is that you get back into the dating world, but you know in advance that this one is probably not going to go anywhere.

Breadcrumbing

Breadcrumbing usually means a person has periodically shown enough affection or positive body language that someone may think they are interested. The idea is to keep someone interested even if you are not sure if you are interested in them romantically or not. This can give someone false hope that you are interested in a relationship.

Cuffing

This is usually used in the colder months of the year where people stay indoors more or want someone to snuggle up with.

Bottom or bottoming

Bottom is predominately used on LGBT+ dating apps. If someone says they are a bottom, it means they enjoy penetration.

Top or topping

Topping is predominately used on LGBT+ dating apps. If someone says they are a top, then it usually means they enjoy penetrating.

Vers / versatile

This is when someone doesn’t mind either bottoming or topping and is happy to switch between the two.

Game / Rizz

This usually means being charming or having the ability to flirt successfully with people.

Sneaky link

This refers to sneaking off to have sex or the person you are having sex with depending on the sentence. Using it as a noun or verb can change the meaning.

Ghosting

This means a person who stops texting, calling or visiting you without an explanation. Usually considered hurtful and rude, being ghosted means you normally would not have been given a reason why this person is ignoring you.

The ick

An involuntary and unexplained reaction to the behaviour or characteristics of someone you are dating. It is often something that you cannot overlook as it makes you feel uncomfortable but it’s not a reason for concern.

Situationship

A dating situation in which there is a lack of clearly defined rules or terms to set boundaries usually around commitment.

Curve

This usually refers to ending a date early or not going on another date because you don’t feel a connection to the other person.

Cushioning

Having a lineup of dates that you are seeing at once so that if one doesn’t work then you have backups.

Dry dating

Dry dating means going on a date without alcohol.

Catfishing

This is when someone pretends to be another person online with the sole purpose of fooling someone. This can range in seriousness from flirting to requesting money from people.

• Beware of people using dating apps to request nude images or videos. There is a catfish scam where fake profiles have been set up and used to bait someone into sending before demanding money to prevent the images/video from being leaked.

Submissive / Sub

This means a person is into the idea of relinquishing control and power to their partner. On a dating app, this means a person is open to the idea, but this is something that needs a conversation ahead of putting it into practice. A person needs to consent fully to anything sexual which means you should never surprise someone with something like BDSM even if they have it on their bio.

Switch

This is a person who is confident in taking either the dominant or submissive role during sex or BDSM. Again, this is a conversation first: don’t assume it is okay to do something that you have read on a dating app without a conversation first so that everyone can properly consent.

Love bombing

This is when a person bombards you with over-the-top displays of affection which can range from verbal to physical to written forms. Excessive displays are usually an attempt to control or manipulate someone and can be a form of abuse.

Open relationship

This means a couple are practising ethical non-monogamy, so they date other people as well as being together or married.

Unicorns

A person willing to join an existing couple for a threesome. This may be a one-time thing or that person may become involved with the relationship in the future.

Netflix and Chill

When you invite someone over for a movie but chances are you won’t be watching the film… if you follow us… wink wink!

Facebook official or instaficial

Changing your status on social media so that people can see you are in a relationship.

Haunting

A person you have dated from the past pops back into your life usually through direct or private messages.

Can accommodate

This usually refers to someone being able to invite someone into their home for sex. This is not always possible due to family, not being publicly out or housemates. It is more common on LGBT+ dating sites.

Block

To prevent someone from contacting you online

Anchor or primary partner

The most important partner in an open relationship. A person may date two or three people but have a primary partner which is the one they live with or have children with. It also just means that it is a more serious commitment than the others.

Solo Polyamory

A person practising polyamory who may date several people at once but does not have a primary partner.

Political terms

Sometimes you may see political terms on a person’s dating profile. Often, these can be a deal breaker for someone which can save a lot of time if you know what they mean.

TERF

Trans Exclusionary Radical Feminist: If someone is not looking for TERF then it usually means they are transgender or trans-supportive. They are looking to date someone with similar viewpoints on this particular issue.

SWERF

Sex-worker exclusionary radical feminist: If someone is not looking to date SWERFS then it usually means that they would like to avoid someone with the opposite view on sex work as work.

BLM

Black Lives Matter: If someone has used this in their bio then it usually means that they are inclusive and supportive of people of colour and reject racism.

Emoji

Okay, so there are far too many emoji to decipher and many are open to interpretation. However, you might see the same few emoji cropping up in bio descriptions. Here are a few to get you started:

Emoji	Meaning
🍑 – Peach	Bum
🍆 – Eggplant/Aubergine	Penis
🍌 – Banana	Penis
💦 – Sweat Droplets	Cum or sweat
👌 – Okay sign	Anal sex
🌮 – Taco	Vagina
🌭 – Hot Dog	Penis
👅 – Tongue	Oral sex
👄 – Lips	Kiss
🦴 – Bone	Sex
🍯 – Honey Pot	Vagina
🌶️ – Hot Pepper	Spice things up
🐪 – Humping	Humping
🚿 – Shower	Shower!