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Love Lounge Top Tips – You Know We Have Sexy Time Too?

By August 30, 2016July 23rd, 2020Sex & disability, The Love Lounge
A couple are kissing silhouetted against a light

As you may recall if you read my previous post on my quest to find an accessible dentists, I wondered if they were going to check out my teeth whilst I sit in my wheelchair?

As it happens the answer was yes they will. And my reward for completing my quest is the removal of my wisdom teeth (I better not lose any IQ points). If I still saw the tooth fairy they would get me some serious money, we would be talking at least 50 pence for each tooth.

Sadly, I’m a little too old to see the tooth fairy these days, it’s something about being an adult. My fiancée says it would just be sad if I still saw the tooth fairy (I bet she is one of those people who don’t believe that Santa exists).

This is testament to how things change in life, I was fascinated by the digital X-ray machine they used at the dentist’s (it’s been 16 years, they still used big, film X-ray machines last time they took any). ‘Change is not good’ the gruff, Yorkshire part of my brain quips in which of course is nonsense.

Needless to say, I no longer have the same facial hair, quite unbelievably I did have a girlfriend at the time. My fiancée tells me she would have laughed at me if I had the same thing now, I am amazed that my girlfriend at the time didn’t but it would explain why I don’t remember anyone else at uni having any interest in me.

On the subject of things changing, I shall make a smooth segway into relations of the bedroom nature. This may come as a shock to some of you as it isn’t exactly dinner table conversation, but people with disabilities like to have sex (I haven’t done a survey but I enjoy having sex and I’m fairly certain that it’s generally a well received activity). I know, consider your collective minds blown, or not as it is kind of obvious. The specific logistics of an individual with a broken back or someone with epilepsy are obviously vastly different but as Jeff Goldblum says in Jurassic Park, “life will find a way.”.

Now everyone is different (obviously) and we all have our particular preferences on positions and rhythms (never did get the hang of ‘spooning’ even before I was diagnosed with MS, it is more a concept for me now like light speed travel or the ability to make a soft boiled egg). There are actually a whole plethora of different equipment and adaptations available via the internet to suit all preferences and requirements.

What I’m trying to say this week is that we are all the same. Technically we are all different, which conversely makes us all the same, well we’re all the same because we are all different which therefore implies that we are all the same in that regard (I’m making myself tired thinking about this logic, let’s agree that we are all the same okay?).

Everyone lands somewhere on this spectrum, able bodied, pointy eared, six fingered, stick wielding, wheelchair using, Doritos loving, weird people that we all are. Everyone is a little bit different and we all have our own barriers to face, so do yourself a favour and offer ask someone else whether they would like any assistance, you may just get yourself a tea and some biscuits.

Gav xx

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