Last time I explored a technique I call Hands free Masturbation. This time I’m going to tell you how to use this technique to change the way your body works. These are really things you need to do with a partner, and I fully understand that some people out there may not have one, but I hope that once you read this you will know that whatever your level of sexual function you will be able to have great sex if the occasion should arise. Knowing that can give you the confidence you need to go out searching for it… tee hee!
The first thing we need to do is…
Relocate Our Erogenous Zones
Now one the most frustrating things about having a disability that effects sensation is the loss of feeling in the bits that would normally turn us on. Of course now we can all reach orgasm without needing to be touched, we can use this to relocate these erogenous zones to somewhere we can feel.
Before we do that however, I must inform you that there are loads of underused zones all over our body. For instance we all have a kind of G-Spot on the roof of our mouths, on our soft pallet. Having this gently touched will bring you to an orgasm amazingly fast. Trust me it really does! There are others, like your elbows, or between your fingers, or behind your ears that all have quite an effect too. The best thing to do is make sex an exploration of both partner’s bodies and to find what bits feel nice.
Once you have found what bits feel good to be touched, you can use the HFM technique to make them become hyper sensitive. By using HFM while having your ‘nice bits’ touched you will find that it is so much easier to achieve an orgasm and these ‘nice bits’ start to become the point at which your orgasm stems from. They become your ‘new groin’ so to speak.
By modifying this you can also…
Create New Erogenous Zones
One of the weirdest things I discovered after I went into a wheelchair is how the sensation in certain parts of my body had become so much more. I found I had a round spot on my back, near to the scar from my operation that had no sensation on the surface skin, but was hyper sensitive internally. So when this was touched it felt like someone was entering my body, which I found very nice. I know that other disabled people I have discussed this with also have similar things on their body. Now with the technique above you can make these even nicer.
Scars are also places that can have very different sensation, whether they are hyper sensitive or numb. This difference in sensation can also be changed to create new erogenous zones.
It is even possible to create zones anywhere. You can even make one on the tip of your nose. Just spend time trying and you will see that eventually you can end up as a big erogenous zone, orgasming away merrily!
By now I imagine some of you are saying, “This is all well and good Mik, but how do we meet this sexual partner?” Well that’s my last tip. Always remember that it doesn’t matter who you are, everyone is really looking for someone to share their life with, to love and be loved by. Male or female, straight or gay, able bodied or disabled everyone wants to be needed. What we have to remember is we, as disabled people, have so much to give. We are fantastic life partners, whether or not we are able to have sex. We are loving, supportive, strong, caring and sharing. We are everything that able-bodied people are, but with an added strength that comes from living in their world. So many of my able bodied friends seem to spend their lives going from one terrible relationship to another, so just because they have a fully functioning body they are not naturally happy. Whatever your disability has thrown at you, the fact that you have managed to survive and feel ready to look for love means that you already a fantastic catch. So it doesn’t matter what’s ‘wrong’ with you, forget that and focus on all the great things about you. Go out, and look for someone to love. I don’t think it will be as hard as you might think.
At the end of the day, remember the old saying… “It’s better to have loved and lost that to have never loved at all”… just add the extra bit… “Once they’ve tasted me, they will never go away!”