My wife and I are very adventurous sexually and are keen to try attending swingers parties…

James, Milton-Keynes

“My wife and I are very adventurous sexually and are keen to try attending swingers parties. However, I have MS and am a wheelchair user. Can I expect the swinging scene to be equipped to deal with and accepting of my disability?”

Mik

While I haven’t ventured onto the swinging scene, I have many friends who have. I do know that from my contact with them that disability is not really an issue. To be honest I kept finding myself being told that I would “enjoy” myself on that scene as many of them have a tick list, or a list of things they want to try.

Sex with a disabled person is high on that list apparently, so if you don’t mind that idea then it might be fun. I would check out your local scene and see if you like the people, which I would imagine is pretty important if you intend to sleep with them! Of course some people might be arse holes, but that is life. I should say that please go it into with your eyes open. I know many relationships that have been torn apart by trying swinging.

It may sound fun, but will either of you be able to cope if one partner is more popular than another? Jealousy can kill a successful relationship, and while it is a not fashionable emotion I personally feel it is part of really being in love. Having said that, I also know couples who have a great time and swear it has brought them closer together. So if you really fancy it, go for it. Trust me, as far I as I understand having a disability is not bar to swinging your socks off!

Join the discussion One Comment

  • Dave says:

    I also have MS James and I’m in a wheelchair. We haven’t been to any swingers parties, but

    my wife and I have been visiting swingers clubs for the last 6 years. We have always been

    very warmly received, people being thrilled that we’ve actually had the confidence to join

    them at such a club. Our latest and favourite club is on the A1 just South of St Neots, so

    not that far from Milton Keynes. It doesn’t mention it on their website but the club is

    almost completely wheelchair accessible. When I thanked the proprietor for this she told me

    I had just as much right to be there is anyone else and that she designed the place along

    with a friend who is in a wheelchair. I am sure you would receive an equally warm welcome.

    Mick is quite right to point out that the 2 of you should have a strong relationship before

    attempting swinging. I can imagine it would break up a fragile relationship. My wife and I

    have a strong relationship and it has become stronger since we started swinging. My wife

    unsurprisingly gets most of the attention (she’s better looking anyway) though I’ve

    certainly had plenty of fun as well plus I get such pleasure from seeing my wife enjoying

    herself.

    The public image of swinging is people going along to have full sex with a person they have

    only just met. That certainly happens for plenty of attendees, but swinging covers a much

    broader range, right down to having sex with your regular partner in the company of others

    enjoying sex. We have yet to go further than what is called Soft Play, meaning foreplay

    with others, and that is regarded as just as valid as hard play (having full sex with

    others). It is a wonderful experience just being at a club, whether sex happens for you or

    not, everyone is so open and honest. So alive.

    We recommend that the 2 of you have a full and frank discussion about swinging, agree your

    boundaries and then give it a try.

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