A lot of people look upon sex toys as something to be feared, when they shouldn’t. Sex toys are great devices to enhance your sex life, and open the doors to trying new things. Most importantly, they are never a replacement for your partner. Personally, my collection of sex toys is too big to fit into my bedside draw, and my partner’s collection is building at a rapid rate too. At times we’ve brought toys individually, but we also enjoy the activity of going online and choosing something new together.
Ways in which sex toys can benefit your relationship:
Fatigue & Tiredness
And I don’t just mean that you didn’t get enough sleep. I’ve had times when my hands are tired of the repetitive up and down movements, on both myself and my partner. Strokers, and masturbatory toys like rabbits, and vibrators provide some relief, and help to prevent wrist injury.
Did you know there are toys to stimulate oral sex, and anal rimming? Because they’re toys, they don’t completely replicate the sensations, but it’s definitely something new. Similarly, BDSM and S&M toys boast a huge range of sensory devices – from pinwheels (originally used by doctors to test nerve sensations), to a blindfold that can heighten already familiar sensations.
Looking through an online sex shop, or even going into your local one, can inspire a conversation as to what you both want to try – nowadays there are toys for nearly every occasion. Pointing to a toy and saying you want to try a small butt plug is, for some, far less daunting then asking your partner to put a finger up your butt. It’s a good way to start a conversation into curiosities and interests you might not have covered before, and it’s also a chance to see if anything new sparks a reaction.
Lubrication, lubrication, lubrication
Technically not a sex ‘toy’ per say, but lubrication is an amazing sex aid. Even if you feel you don’t need it, give it a go, see what things are like with a little more lubrication involved. Flavoured lubes are great for partnered oral sex to give an different flavour to normal. Just make sure you’re not allergic or sensitive to any ingredients in the lube before buying it – I’ve seen one or two bottles with nuts in them … pun not intended.
Sometimes, they’re just so darn pretty
Okay, this isn’t one of the best points. But, take a good look on Etsy or even Twitter at homemade silicone, glass, and wooden toys and you’ll see they are gorgeous. I have a few toys that I’ve never used (I do mean to), but I keep them out because they look lovely. As toys are an investment, from a vibrator to BDSM equipment the looks are as important as the feel (and make). Buying something should feel like a treat to you both.
And, that’s it! If you’re worried about sex toys, start slow. There’s no need to rush into getting anything. Do you research so you know what toys and materials (like silicone, and glass) are body safe, as if you get the wrong toy material it won’t clean properly, and can potentially be a hazard to your health. Taking your time also ensures that you’re buying a good quality item, as the last thing you want is your new toy breaking the first chance you get to use it.
Next time we’ll cover materials, and places to find decent sex toys a little more thoroughly.